March 6, 2020: President Trump Calls Governor of Hard-Hit State a "Snake."

 

3/6/20: Friday was another rough day for Dr. Zero (a.k.a. President Trump). First, the stock market continued to have chills and fell 256 points. 

At the close Friday, the Dow Jones stood at 25,865. That left the Dow, the S&P 500 and the Nasdaq Composite all down at least 10% since February 24, putting them in “correction territory.”

Bite of a poisonous snake.

 

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IN THE MEANTIME, the spread of COVID-19 continued to baffle Dr. Zero and his virus-fighting team. New cases popped up in several more states. The total rose to 307, and the death toll to 17. Friday morning, it was announced that Dr. Zero would not be stopping by the headquarters of Centers for Disease Control in Atlanta – on his way to Mar-a-Lago for a restful weekend. 

Why no stop, reporters wondered, since the schedule Thursday night said there would be one?

 

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“I told Mike not to be complimentary of the governor, because that governor is a snake, okay, Inslee.” 

Dr. Zero

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The White House explained: “The CDC has been proactive and prepared since the very beginning and the president does not want to interfere with the CDC’s mission to protect the health and welfare of their people and the agency.” 

See. Dr. Zero had the best possible reasons not to stop and disrupt the fine work CDC was doing. 

Then, a change of plans! Not long after the trip was canceled, for the best of reasons, Trump told reporters that the trip might be on again – for the best of reasons. “They thought there was a problem at CDC with somebody that had the virus,” Dr. Zero explained. “It turned out negative so we are seeing if we can do it. They’ve tested the person fully and it was a negative test. So I may be going. We’re going to see if they can turn it around with Secret Service. We may be going.” 

And go he did! For the best of reasons. Namely a photo op that might make him look like he was involved.

 

The change, on top of the other change, really did cause confusion at CDC, as officials scrambled to make arrangements. But then, there he was. The great Dr. Zero, laser-focused on the COVID-19 case. At times he asked penetrating questions, like, what did the medical people think of a Fox News town hall he participated in Thursday night? “How was the show last night?” he asked. “Did it get good ratings by the way?” 

Really. He asked. 

Even better, Dr. Zero decided he could help CDC out by talking about the spread of the virus in Washington State, where most of the deaths have occurred. He wanted reporters to spread the word. He had sent Vice President Pence out to the coast to examine the situation firsthand. Pence had met with Gov. Jay Inslee to ask what he might need in the way of help. “All of America’s hearts are with you,” Mr. Pence said. (Mr. Pence actually has a heart, unlike his boss.)

 

To make a point about safety, the VP and the governor elbow-bumped rather than shake hands. Mr. Inslee said that it was nice to know about all those hearts being with the people of his state, but added that doctors needed more testing kits. 

He explained later that the State of Washington would pick up the cost of testing for those who lacked health insurance. State workers’ compensation rules would be adjusted to provide for healthcare workers and first responders who were forced into quarantine as a result of the risks of their jobs. 

Dr. Zero was ready with his own heartfelt response. “I told Mike not to be complimentary of the governor,” Trump told reporters trailing him at CDC, “because that governor is a snake, okay, Inslee. I said if you’re nice to him he will take advantage ... Let me just tell you, we have a lot of problems with the governor, the governor of Washington ... so Mike may be happy with him, but I’m not.” 

Dr. Zero was having a tough week and people weren’t calling him the greatest president ever. And he kept venting.

 

If we came up with a cure today and tomorrow everything is gone and you went up to this governor, who’s not a good governor by the way, if you went up to this governor and you said to him, “How did Trump do?” He’d say, “He did a terrible job.”...it makes no difference.

 

I told Mike that would happen, I said no matter how nice you are, he’s no good, that’s the way I feel.

 

Having vented his fury, the good Dr. Zero was off to Mar-a-Lago yet again, where he would treat any patient who could afford the $450,000 initiation fee to join him at his private club.

 

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ALL AROUND THE COUNTRY, the situation was much the same. Gov. Roy Cooper of North Carolina weighed in on the threat. “It’s clear,” he said, that, “North Carolina and other states need more test kits from the CDC.” In fact, he labeled it “a critical need.” Gov. Ned Lamont, of Connecticut, where 18 people had been tested – and 13 cleared – with five cases pending – also said Connecticut needed more kits. Health officials in New York City pleaded for kits, warning that a shortage was impeding their ability to “beat back” the spread of COVID. By Friday night, New York State had 33 confirmed cases, with five patients hospitalized, and 4,000 people in quarantine. 

 

“America should stay at work.” 

Dr. Zero’s economic adviser, Larry Kudlow, insisted everything was going pretty great! “I don’t want to downplay anything,” he said during an appearance on CNBC. “Worry about the effect on human beings, for heaven’s sake. But I’m just saying, let’s not overreact. In many ways, America should stay at work.” 

Cough, cough, cough. 

For good measure, he added, “We don’t actually know what the magnitude of the virus is going to be, although frankly so far it looks relatively contained.” 

Cough!!!!!!