3/5/20: Okay, Trump’s market mojo is not back. The Dow Jones average dives again. This time the drop is 970 points.
Part of the problem is that the president has zero understanding of the science related to the virus outbreak. To make matters worse, he denies what experts are saying. This week he insisted that the World Health Organization was wrong when it said the death rate from the virus was around 3.4%. Dr. Zero (as we now like to refer to the man) wanted us all to know. We needn’t worry.
Not with Dr. Zero prescribing just the medicine we needed if
we wanted to survive!
_____________________
“This is just my hunch...it’s very mild.”
Dr. Zero –
President Trump
_____________________
In a conference with Dr. Sean Hannity, on Fox News, Dr. Zero explained: “Now, this is just my hunch ... based on a lot of conversations with a lot of people that do this, because a lot of people will have this [virus], and it’s very mild.”
Later, Dr. Zero scratched his chin thoughtfully and assured Dr. Hannity that he had a hunch the death toll was only 1%. In fact, Dr. Zero suggested that this virus was so not a big deal that a lot of people got better, “by, you know, sitting around and even going to work.”
In other words, get your coughin’ ass back to the factory, office, store – or school!
Don’t worry about spraying germs on fellow
employees! Only a 1 in 100 chance you kill any of them!
Dr. Zero offered similar spot-on advice last week when he said we had only 15 cases in the whole country, thanks to his fine work, and promised that we were headed toward zero. Today a twelfth American died and the number of known cases rose to 225. A cruise ship remains anchored off the coast of California, with 20 suspected cases aboard. People ashore were so excited about being coughed on by debarking passengers that it was decided to fly in medical supplies by helicopter and lower them with a winch.
In fact, Dr. Zero suddenly seemed more concerned about this “very mild” virus than he had been before and said if it was up to him, he’d order the 3,000 passengers and crew to stay aboard that boat.
Cough, cough, cough.
How’s it going elsewhere – as the world tries to stop the spread? South Korea now
has 6,284 cases. China reports 80,500, with 3,042 deaths. The airlines are
seeing business evaporate. Costco reports sales are up as worried shoppers
stock up on hand sanitizer, baby wipes and water filtration systems – plus extra food – so
that when everyone else is dead, they’ll still have bags of potato chips to
live on and they can survive. On Amazon, some scammer is offering eight-ounce
bottles of Purell hand sanitizer for the bargain price of $90. Cheap, when you
figure some sick, dumb bastard is going to show up where you work and cough in
your face.
Around the world there have been more than 98,000 cases. There have been 3,386 deaths and 6,273 patients are in serious or critical condition. There were only 580 known cases on January 22.
The numbers since then:
January 29: 7,813
February 5: 28,266
February 12: 59,285
February 19: 75,500
February 26: 81,820
March 4: 95,308
John Hopkins University has a most interesting interactive map (screen capture below). The spread in Europe is quite pronounced in just the last few days. Iran is having a difficult time getting a grip on the disease.
And in the U.S., it could be the barn door was left open too long and the COVID-19 horse is on the loose.
Cough, cough, cough.
POSTSCRIPT: No matter how many months or years or decades Dr. Zero might spend in office he’s always going to blame his problems on President Obama.
Last seen leaving Washington D.C. on January 20, 2017.
Speaking with reporters Wednesday, Dr. Zero said he and his virus-fighting team had been slow getting test kits out to people who might be sick, because the first kits they did send out didn’t work. So they had to start over. Definitely, Obama’s fault! Besides, Dr. Zero complained, any spread of the virus was due to the fact that, “The Obama administration made a decision on testing that turned out to be very detrimental to what we’re doing. And we undid that decision a few days ago so that the testing can take place in a much more accurate and rapid fashion.”
Alas, As ABC and other news outlets quickly pointed out:
1. Dr. Zero has had three years to change any rulings he might have wanted to change.
2. And, in fact, there was no “decision” made by the Obama administration that had to be changed.
3. The Obama administration suggested limits on testing, so that doctors didn’t give patients tests they didn’t need, and jack up their bills.
4. Those tests had nothing to do with COVID-19.
5.
No decision was involved.
A “discussion paper” was left behind for Trump and his advisors to consider once
they took charge.
As in 1,142 days ago.
Cough, cough, cough.
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