December 7, 2019: "Twelve More Years:" President Trump Plans to Save the Toilets - and the Jews (Who Love Money)

 

12/7/19: The president marks the anniversary of Pearl Harbor with a stirring speech on light bulbs and toilets. 

For Trump, a day of infamy involves fighting to keep the world safe from energy efficient lighting. New bulbs, he tells reporters, make him look orange. The EPA will soon be finding ways to bring back the old, wasteful, whiter-light bulbs. 

(Frankly, any kind of light makes Trump look orange.)

 

The greater tragedy is toilets that require ten and even fifteen flushes! Under his guiding hand – with that hand on the flush lever – Trump promises that the EPA is going to end the tyranny of water-saving toilets. 

I, for one, am going to go to the bathroom for a break right now, and when I do, I know 97% of the time one flush will suffice. Sometimes two flushes are necessary. Rarely a third. 

After that: go to the plunger. 

So: If you’re flushing ten times, the problem is not your toilet, and you need to call a plumber. 

If you’re flushing fifteen, you need a therapist.

 

* 

MEANWHILE, multiple news agencies, including CBS, report that the North Koreans have announced that “de-nuclearization” is off the table. This is no doubt quite a surprise for our president, since Trump described Kim Jong-un as a “friend” as recently as August. And let’s not forget, President Trump deemed North Korea to be no longer a nuclear threat on June 13, 2018. 

Here are two of Trump’s August tweets: 

Chairman Kim does not want to disappoint me with a violation of trust, there is far too much for North Korea to gain - the potential as a Country, under Kim Jong Un’s leadership, is unlimited….I may be wrong, but I believe that......

 

....Chariman Kim has a great and beautiful vision for his country, and only the United States, with me as President, can make that vision come true. He will do the right thing because he is far too smart not to, and he does not want to disappoint his friend, President Trump!

 

* 

“You’re brutal killers, not nice people at all.” 

THE PRESIDENT closes the evening with a rambling talk before the Israeli American Council in Hollywood, Florida. 

Apparently, his speech to a dinner crowd of 4,300 involves letting random stereotypes percolate to the surface of his psyche and spill from his pouty lips. “A lot of you are in the real estate business,” he tells his audience, “because I know you very well. You’re brutal killers, not nice people at all.” 

He means this as a compliment. 

We think.

 

He goes on: 

But you have to vote for me – you have no choice. You’re not gonna vote for Pocahontas, I can tell you that. You’re not gonna vote for the wealth tax. Yeah, let’s take 100% of your wealth away!

 

Some of you don’t like me. Some of you I don’t like at all, actually. And you’re going to be my biggest supporters because you’re going to be out of business in about 15 minutes if they get it. So I don’t have to spend a lot of time on that.

 

Yes. He doesn’t have a lot of time to spend on that. Jews are brutal killers, who only care about money. 

It’s a pro-Israel crowd, and Trump plays up support for Israel. The chant, “Four more years!” breaks out, followed by loud applause. 

Trump laughs and tells listeners that people are saying he won’t step down, even after he wins a second term. “So now we have to start thinking about that, because it’s not a bad idea,” he grins. (Again, you can’t be sure he’s kidding.) The audience responds with chants of “12 more years.” 

Just another nutty night in Trumpistan.

 

 

POSTSCRIPT: Reaction from Jewish American groups to the president’s speech is less than positive. 

In fact, maybe Jews don’t have to vote for him. It could be that Jews might put principle above profit. The American Jewish Committee responds: “Surely there must be a better way to appeal to American Jewish voters…than by money references that feed age-old and ugly stereotypes…[emphasis added]. Let’s stay off that mine-infested road.” 

Jonathan Greenblatt, head of the Anti-Defamation League, warns that the president’s support for Israel was “essentially undone by his own trafficking of antisemitic tropes: questioning American Jews’ loyalty to Israel and asserting that Jewish voters only care about their wealth.” 

Halie Soifer, executive director of the Jewish Democratic Council of America, labels Trump’s remarks “deeply offensive.” In an email to Newsweek, she points out that support for Republicans among American Jews has dropped significantly since Trump took office, from “33 percent in 2014 to 17 percent in 2018, because Trump’s policies and rhetoric are completely antithetical to Jewish values.”