January 7, 2020: Republican "Family Values"

 

1/7/20: Tuesday night, the Iranians fire twenty missiles at U.S. military bases in Iraq. It is thought that some carried 1,500 pound warheads. 

Any miscalculation in the next few hours or days could lead to war between the two nations. 

Fortunately, there are no reported U.S. casualties, which leads to another tone-deaf tweet from President Twitter Thumbs: 

All is well! Missiles launched from Iran at two military bases located in Iraq. Assessment of casualties & damages taking place now. So far, so good! We have the most powerful and well equipped military anywhere in the world, by far! I will be making a statement tomorrow morning.

 

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WITH MISSILES FLYING, another news story gets buried. Imaad Zuberi, who claimed he donated $900,000 to Trump’s inauguration, admits to a series of felonies. 

To be fair, Zuberi raised money for Democrat candidates and causes in the past. But this time may be different. Zuberi funneled foreign money to Trump and his minions. Among other questionable actions, which led to a charge of obstruction of justice, Mr. Zuberi covered up the fact that at least $50,000 “he” donated came from a foreign individual. 

According to CNN, Zuberi deleted emails related to a number of transactions. Those included “a $5.8 million transfer from a foreign national that came in around the time of his [$900,000] political donation.” 

That would be Big Money. 

Big Foreign Money. Big Foreign Money likely intended to enrich individuals associated with Team Trump 2016. 

Often called: bribery. 

Zuberi had already pled guilty to other charges, including income tax evasion, and on those charges alone faces fifteen years in jail. In his latest plea, prosecutors note that Zuberi was desperate enough to offer to pay six witnesses a total of $6,150,000 for false testimony or silence.

 

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WE MIGHT expect Zuberi to start cooperating with investigators. We know that Elliott Broidy, vice president of the Trump Inaugural Committee, is under investigation. On the topic of felons, we know Broidy pled guilty to bribery years ago, in a scheme to game the New York State pension system. 

He was a felon, too, till he agreed to cooperate with the investigation. For that, his conviction was later reduced. 

And for the sheer fun of it, let’s remember that Broidy is famous for paying a Playboy Bunny he says he impregnated a cool $1.6 million to keep her mouth shut about the affair. Even more amusing: That payment was handled through the good offices of Michael Cohen, Donald J. Trump’s personal attorney at the time and a man currently residing in federal prison.

Broidy.

 

Finally, we know the Bunny had an abortion. 

(There were rumors that Broidy took the fall for none other than our current president and the real father, Donald J. Trump.)  

In any case, the Bunny, Shera Bechard, claimed in court that Broidy had unprotected sex with her, despite the fact he had herpes. 

She said Broidy insisted she have the abortion because – you know – Republicans – family values – and abortion should be illegal.

 

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WE ALSO HAVE a Sebastian Gorka sighting and are reminded what a no-class fellow he is. 

On his inaptly-named radio show America First with Sebastian Gorka, the host decides it would be funny to refer to 17-year-old Swedish climate activist Greta Thunberg as, “Thunder thighs.” 

Yes. A conservative stalwart mocking the physique of a teenage girl. 

Family values.