April 2022: Did you miss the thrilling news that Rejected-President Trump has carded a hole-in-one? If you were busy agonizing over the slaughter in Ukraine, Donald wanted you to know – he drilled the perfect shot.
(His pal Vlad was spending his day ordering Ukrainians shot in the back of their heads.)
Meanwhile, Republicans of varying shapes and sizes, but each and all of them morons, wanted us to know that they were holding back the tides of transgender folk who want to “destroy” America.
In fact, one astute Florida lawmaker wanted us to know he’s not a porcupine!
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This is not a Republican lawmaker from Florida. |
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First, Trump.
With Russian forces battering Ukraine, with thousands dead and dying, and millions in flight, you just knew Donald would have his priorities straight. He took time to issue a formal statement, announcing that he had sunk a hole-in-one at Trump International Golf Club in West Palm Beach, Florida. Why he felt the need to brag (and claim he wasn’t) is for the professional psychologists to ponder.
Trump went into detail, explaining he hit the ball “magnificently into a rather strong wind, with approximately 5 feet of cut, whereupon it bounced twice and then went clank, into the hole.”
He added, in all his magnificence, that he wouldn’t reveal who won
the game with three pros in his foursome, “because I am a very modest
individual, and you will then say I was bragging ― and I don’t like people who brag!”
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This is not what Donald Trump cares about. |
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Well, then, what about those hordes of transgender individuals who want to ruin America? And what about porcupines?
Now that gays can marry, and gay marriage hasn’t caused the institution to implode, right-wing types have turned their hate on transgender people. That means scaring the ill-informed with stories of transgenders destroying privacy in bathrooms, and “men” competing in women’s sports.
Also, Judge Ketanji Brown-Jackson “failed” to define the word “woman!” Because she hates America!!
Well, rest easy, if you fear the transgenders! State Rep. Randy Fine is standing guard. Fine, who represents Palm Bay in the Florida legislature, has promised to introduce a bill to deal with parents and doctors who believe certain children suffer from severe sexual identity problems. You know: Such as being born with male sex organs externally, and a uterus and ovaries internally. Or, picking just one from a list of terrible conditions babies can be born with, and that parents might have to face when human DNA takes a twist, having what the Mayo Clinic describes as “undescended testicles and an empty scrotum that has the appearance of a labia with or without a micropenis.”
Rep. Fine could look this up. Mr. Blogger did. The problem is that Fine has the intellectual capacity of a garden gnome. He burns to make it a felony for doctors to provide surgery or prescribe drugs that might help struggling individuals find a proper gender assignment. The level of his reasoning in the face of what must be agonizing decisions for families and their children, is to inform other Sunshine State lawmakers that he can say he’s a porcupine. “But that doesn’t make it so.”
He goes on to insist, “It is time to dispense with this fantasy making women’s sports a joke and our schools into a cesspool.”
Rep. Fine is not in fact a porcupine. He is,
however, a repugnant human being. Both the American Academy of
Pediatrics and the American Medical Association support gender-affirming care
for adolescents.
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You could argue that Fine is Daniel Webster reincarnated, compared to fellow GOP hater Robert Foster. Foster is running to be the next governor of Mississippi, and the man has a plan to solve the “transgender problem.” He believes that those who “groom” children and pretend that “men are women,” and women men, and that porcupines make good pets, should be…treated with respect…considering the difficulties…
Ha! Not even close.
He says the “groomers” should be “lined up against [a] wall before a firing squad and sent to an early judgment.”
No way of knowing what Mr. Foster would tell the parents of children born with what the Mayo Clinic describes as “ambiguous genitalia,” including some with both sex organs, who might “pretend” to be…
What?
Well, Mr. Foster, in such cases, could you define
“woman?”
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If Foster sounds like a blood-thirsty psychopath, he still sounds smarter than GOP lawmaker Bruce Bostelman of Nebraska. Rep. Bostelman heard recently that schools in his state were putting litter boxes in bathrooms. The better, he said, to provide for children who identified as “animals.”
The Daily Beast perfectly captures the idiocy that passes for “culture war” concern in today’s right-wing world:
“They meow
and they bark and they interact with their teachers in this fashion,” Bostelman
said during the debate, over a bill meant to provide help to students with
behavioral problems. “How can schools allow this to happen?”
His comments
quickly drew scathing derision on social media, as well as emphatic denials
from Nebraska school officials, who called such remarks “ridiculous” and “ugly.”
Hours later,
Bostelman said that he had looked into the matter, and confirmed that the
debunked story was in fact untrue. “It was just something I felt that if this
really was happening,” he said, according to the Associated Press, “we needed
to address it and address it quickly.”
Or address it never, since the problem was a figment of twisted, paranoid right-wing imagination.
(You can listen to Bostelman express his righteous, albeit ill-informed indignation by clicking this link.)
Bostelman may be completely clueless when it comes to litter boxes in the schools, but at least he knows he’s not a porcupine.
POSTSCRIPT: For more reading on this complex and painful issue, go to the website for the American Urological Association.
You’ll
come away chastened if you have a soul.
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