January 2, 2019: The Blogger Has a Plan (Two, Actually) to Fund the Border Wall

 

1/2/19: President Trump starts off 2019 with an approval rating, averaging all polls, of 42.9 percent. 

Meanwhile, the partial government shutdown continues. Trump, who has never bothered to read the U.S. Constitution, discovers that the “power of the purse” is vested in the House of Representatives. Rep. Nancy Pelosi, who will take over as Speaker of the House on January 3, says there’ll be no money for the wall. Trump wants $5.6 billion. Pelosi says she’s going to meet him halfway at $0.

 

I know, because I use Facebook, that my conservative friends and relatives are furious at this news. As far as I can tell, their argument is that unless we build the wall immediately, dark-skinned immigrants will pour across the border and kill them in their beds the moment the sun sets. 

To break the logjam, I do my civic duty. First, I send a thoughtful letter to the Mexican ambassador in Washington D.C. I ask him to please pay for the wall, just as Candidate Trump said Mexico would.

 

And if that fails, I have a backup plan. President Trump is going to want me to join his cabinet when he hears my idea. 

He simply orders the IRS to add a special box to 1040 tax forms this year. Here’s how it will look: 

□ I would like to pay an additional $88.91 in federal taxes, with that contribution going directly toward building the Great Wall of Trump.

 

If every Trump voter from 2016 kicks in that much, and I’m sure they all will, and some will even round up, the president will have the $5.6 billion he desires, and construction can begin at once.