A Liberal in Trumpistan: October 15, 2018: "Detective Donald" Hard at Work on His Next Case

Thursday, May 26, 2022

October 15, 2018: "Detective Donald" Hard at Work on His Next Case

10/15/18: Detective Donald is hard at work. This is the same Detective Donald who once grilled Vladimir Putin. “Did you interfere in the U.S. election?” he demanded. I think he shined a bright light in Putin’s face.

“No, Detective Don! I did not,” Vladimir said.

“Okay, I believe you.”

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A journalist walks into a Saudi consulate and never walks out.

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Later, Kim Jong-un promised to get rid of all his nuclear weapons. Don was on it like a cat on a three-legged mouse. “North Korea is going to hand over all its nuclear weapons to me,” he announced.

North Korea didn’t even had over one.

This was the great Detective Don doing what he does best. Who, for instance, can forget his big case from 2011, when he promised to get the goods on President Obama? He would show the people their president was not a real American!

After five years, he “cracked the case.” “Okay, he was,” Don admitted. You could even read that story on Fox “Never Fake” News.

NOW DETECTIVE DON is on the case again. Jamal Khashoggi, a Saudi-born journalist, permanent resident of the United States, and reporter for the Washington Post, walks into the Saudi consulate in Istanbul, Turkey. You can watch him enter on surveillance cameras. No one sees him leave.

The Turkish government claims it has evidence Khashoggi was murdered and dismembered, and his body parts removed from the consulate in diplomatic pouches. Detective Don calls King Salman of Saudi Arabia. He grills the poor royal, just like he grilled Vlad in Helsinki this summer. This is the most feared grilling any dictator or potentate can face.

“Did you do it?” Don demands.

“No. Never!!!” King Salman swears.

Detective Don tells reporters the king “vehemently” denies having Khashoggi, a frequent critic of the royal family, murdered. Don posits the theory that the journalist might have been killed by “rogue actors.”

Naturally, Detective Don has several theories to work through. It might have been Hillary. It might have been Obama. It might have been that “400-pound guy sitting on his couch,” who might have hacked the 2016 election. That guy might have hoisted himself off his couch, jumped on a plane to Turkey, and slipped past security cameras. He entered the Saudi consulate. He killed the journalist. No one saw him do it. No one heard the victim scream. He grabbed the body and ran down the street, although no security footage shows a 400-pound guy lugging a corpse out of the building.

Anyway, enough about that! Don’t forget, the Saudi’s buy U.S. weapons! Detective Don has already made it clear. He doesn’t care who they murder, and he doesn’t like journalists at all.