December 28, 2018: President Trump Announces Really Stupid Plan to Keep Out Illegal Immigrants - then Hires the Same

 

12/28/18: Trump is often petulant and peevish. Today he plumbed the deepest depths of stupidity. If he can’t get the cash that he needs to build his wall, a fate he fears will make him look like a fool, he’s just going to… 

Well…this is so dumb…why don’t we let him explain in a tweet:

 

We will be forced to close the Southern Border entirely if the Obstructionist Democrats do not give us the money to finish the Wall & also change the ridiculous immigration laws that our Country is saddled with. Hard to believe there was a Congress & President who would approve!

 

Hard to believe! Yes, it is. It’s hard to believe no one has come up with a “brilliant” plan like this before! It’s as if a patient interested in plastic surgery went for a nose job and all the surgeon did was cut off his or her nose and toss it in the trash, announcing, “Your nose is fixed.”

 

As usual, the president has not thought out his latest scheme and he’s just tweeting random sh*t. Trade in goods and services between Mexico and the United States topped $615.9 billion in 2017. Each day of closure, allowing for electronical traffic and transactions of that sort, could put a $1.5 billion dent in the economy. If the border were closed, U.S. citizens traveling in Mexico would be stuck. Four thousand trucks crossing every 24 hours would have to park. Rail traffic would cease. Supply chains for auto manufacturers would be severed. Production at plants thousands of miles from the border would halt. A million men and women, mostly headed north and crossing for work every day, would fail to show up at jobs. 

In other words: This plan is really dumb. 

 

Bloody corpses in plaid pants. 

Of course, if we listen to Trump, we know we must do whatever it takes to curb the flood of illegal immigrants, or America will welter in gore. Today it turns out we may not be safe even when walking the golf courses of this great land. I haven’t played golf since 1969, when I managed a 17 on one hole, so I should be safe. But, oh, the humanity! I can only imagine all the bloody corpses in plaid pants littering the fairway on the ninth hole or the green on the tenth. 

 

Therefore, in an effort to alert the golfing public, I would like to point out that federal and state authorities have evidence that fake green cards and fake Social Security numbers may have been supplied to illegal immigrants working at a New Jersey golf course. Here you have these “murders” and “rapists” – probably nine out of every ten being members of MS-13 – working in the clubhouse, wiping down tables in the bar and mopping the floors. At every turn, these individuals have access to deadly implements and might at any moment set upon rich private club members, stabbing them with kitchen knives, whacking them over the head with putters or finishing them off with mop handles to the skulls. 

Thankfully, authorities have broken up the alleged crime ring – in Bedminster, N.J. – and are gathering additional evidence. Two potential killers, Victorina Morales and Sandra Diaz, who had been posing as cleaning ladies, turned over fake documents and threw themselves on the mercy of the court. 

For the sake of golfing Americans and their loved ones, let’s pray state police and F.B.I. agents called in on the case can get to the bottom of this mess at Trump National Golf Club, owned by the president himself. 

Think of it. Trump’s own murderous help might have run him down with a golf cart with ease.