August 22, 2018: Trump "Drains the Swamp" of Alligators He Hired

 

8/22/18: President Trump is finally draining the swamp! Papadopoulos has been drained. (See: 8/21/18.) 

And Omarosa has been yanked from the muck, although we might mention that Trump hired the woman he now describes as “wacky and deranged.” Taxpayers then forked out $179,700 per year in salary even though the president now says she was “vicious,” “not smart” and “a lowlife.” 

Omarosa and Trump in happier days.

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The pet bunny gets a plane ride.

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Then, with the help of Special Counsel Mueller and federal prosecutors in the Southern District of New York, the president saw two more alligators pulled from the reeds and bundled off to prison. Alligator #1, Michael Cohen, pled guilty to eight felony counts. Alligator #2, Paul Manafort, was convicted by a jury on eight felony counts of his own. 

We’re not done yet, either. 

CNN reports that two more gators have been arrested. In fact, CNN, “Fake News,” “so disgusting,” according to the president, has the nerve to file a report based on court documents. 

Yes, more court news! 

Republican Congressman Duncan Hunter and his wife, Margaret, routinely – and and illegally – used campaign funds to pay personal bills big and small, from luxury vacations to kids’ school lunches and delinquent family dentistry bills, according to a stinging 47-page indictment unsealed Tuesday.

 

Hunter, if you don’t remember, was the second member of Congress to endorse Trump for president, which is kind of ironic. 

The first, Rep. Chris Collins, was charged with insider trading and arrested a few days ago. (See: 8/8/18.). That’s ironic, too. 

Charges against Mr. and Mrs. Hunter include wire fraud, campaign finance violations and conspiracy. An investigation by the Department of Justice lasted more than a year, during which Rep. Hunter maintained he was innocent, and that Mrs. Hunter was a lovely woman.

Okay, maybe, she couldn’t balance a checkbook. 

More on that in a moment.

 

CNN was kind enough to post a copy of the indictment for all Trump fans and GOP backers to read. 

According to prosecutors, the Hunters were funding a lavish lifestyle, one they could not afford. So, they “knowingly conspired with each other” to convert campaign funds for personal use. There was, for example, the $14,000 family trip to Italy. And the $6,500 family trip to Hawaii. The couple used campaign cash for all kinds of shady purposes. They spent $600 to buy an airline ticket for their pet rabbit – because, going to Italy without the bunny? Unacceptable. 

In one particularly egregious case they purchased personal clothing at a golf course (please, please, let it be a Trump course!). Then they falsely reported to Rep. Hunter’s campaign treasurer that they had purchased “[golf] balls for the wounded warriors,” according to the federal indictment. 

Mrs. Hunter was given a campaign credit card, even though she then had no role on the campaign. Finally, at her husband’s urging, she was paid as campaign manager. Mr. Hunter told his treasurer, who objected, that the family needed “the extra money that would come from her salary.” One reason the couple needed money: Over the course of seven years they overdrew their personal bank accounts 1,100 times, resulting in $37,761 in “overdraft” and “insufficient funds” fees.

 

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THE PRESIDENT DECIDES he needs to comment on the recent convictions of Cohen and Manafort. He ponders the fates of felons and tweets. First, he slams the former. “If anyone is looking for a good lawyer, I would strongly suggest that you don’t retain the services of Michael Cohen!” 

Okay, got it: bad felon! 

As for Manafort, he garners the president’s sympathy in a pair of heartfelt tweets:  

I feel very badly for Paul Manafort and his wonderful family. “Justice” took a 12 year old tax case, among other things, applied tremendous pressure on him and, unlike Michael Cohen, he refused to “break” - make up stories in order to get a “deal.” Such respect for a brave man!

 

A large number of counts, ten, could not even be decided in the Paul Manafort case. Witch Hunt!

 

Got it: good felon! 

 

POSTSCRIPT: Don’t forget. Cohen was a good felon until he made it clear he was going to flip. (See: 4/9/18.)