3/20/18: Trump’s single tweet for the day is in celebration of an event one suspects most Americans who do not own harvesters do not know is a calendar event at all.
“Our Nation was founded by farmers,” he tap, tap, taps. “Our independence was won by farmers. And our continent was tamed by farmers. Our farmers always lead the way – we are PROUD of them, and we are DELIVERING for them! #NationalAgricultureDay”
I waited anxiously all afternoon, hoping the president would tweet again. Perhaps: “Our farmers produce asparagus and Brussels sprouts and foods I despise. I did not boink the porn star! NO COLLUSION!”
I thought that would be cool.
By the time Trump settled in for dinner, we knew a Playboy Bunny had filed suit asking the right to tell the story of a ten-month affair she allegedly conducted with Citizen Trump. During the 2016 campaign she was preparing to sell her story when the National Enquirer swooped in and bought up rights for $150,000. The company that owns the magazine never intended to publish it because, let’s face it, that magazine has the highest journalistic standards.
The owner is also a close friend of Donald J. Trump. And this was standard practice at the Enquirer, to help friends, using what was called “capture and kill” to bury the story and keep the Bunny quiet.
Now the Bunny says other promises made to her were not kept and she should have the right to take back her tale and make it public.
Her tale. She’s already made her tail public.
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The Enquirer tried to help Trump by claiming Ted Cruz's father helped assassinate JFK. |
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