September 1, 2019: Trump Has Never Heard of Cat 5 Hurricanes - And Tony Perkins Has a Plan to Stop Gun Violence

 

September 1, 2019: Hurricane Dorian, a Category 5 storm, and the most powerful since modern records have been kept, pummels the Bahamas, and threatens the Eastern Seaboard.

 

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“I’m not sure I’ve ever even heard of a Category Five.” 

President Trump 

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President Trump tells reporters, 

We don’t even know what’s coming at us. All we know is it’s possibly the biggest. I’m not sure, I’m not sure I’ve ever even heard of a Category Five. I knew it existed, and I’ve seen some Category Fours, you know you don’t see them that much, but a Category Five, is something that I don’t know that I’ve even heard the term, other than I know it’s there, that’s the ultimate. And that’s what we have, unfortunately.

 

This proves that the president is on top of the threat, save for the fact that he missed the following Category 5 storms that have hit since he took office. In September 2017, Hurricane Irma pounded parts of nine states. Hurricane Maria pulverized Puerto Rico the same month. Hurricane Michael tore apart communities in the Florida Panhandle in October 2018. 

Other than that…yeah…Dorian is a Cat 5, too.

 

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MEANWHILE, THE DEATH TOLL in the Odessa, Texas mass shooting rises to seven as two of the wounded succumb. We learn that a 17-month-old baby has been shot in the face but should survive. 

The killer, Seth Ator, was born in Amarillo in 1982, and was carrying an assault-style rifle during the shooting spree. 

One man who knows exactly what must be done to end this scourge of heavily armed killers roaming our streets and slaughtering the innocent, is Tony Perkins, head of the Family Research Council.

 

As might be expected, he shows up on Fox News, where he makes it clear, guns aren’t the problem. 

“It’s tragic and at some point we have to realize we have a problem as a nation, and the problem is not the absence of laws. It’s an absence of morality,” he insists, “really the result of a decades-long march through the institutions of America, driving religion and God from the public square [emphasis added].” 

And you thought the problem was killers using assault-style rifles, able to unleash hails of bullets! 

“We’ve taught our kids,” Perkins continues, “that they come about by chance through primordial slime and we’re surprised that they treat their fellow Americans like dirt.” 

Of course! 

We’ve got to stop teaching evolution!

Early humans in Africa...and is that Trump on the left???