Monday, May 16, 2022

March 22-25, 2019: Party Time in the White House

 

3/22/19: Trump announces, via Twitter, that he will be nominating “Stephen Moore, a very respected Economist,” to serve on the Federal Reserve Board. 

“I have known Steve for a long time – and have no doubt he will be an outstanding choice!” (See: 3/29/19.)

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3/23/19: The Russians decide to test the resolve of President Twitter Thumbs by landing two planes and roughly 100 troops in Caracas, Venezuela. 

They probably figure they can pull this off without a hitch because Trump has never heard of the Monroe Doctrine, won’t believe his advisers if they tell him what it says, and besides, he still loves Putin.

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3/24/19: Party time for President Donald J. Trump. The summary of the Mueller report, all four pages, is released, and totally exonerates him! 

So Trump says. 

 

“F**k Robert Mueller,” I think he wants to add. 

Even according to the summary prepared by Attorney General William Barr – which includes 73 actual words from the Mueller report – that’s not what it says. It says Mueller was unable to find evidence of conspiracy between members of Trump’s campaign and the Russian government.  

As Barr notes, “The Special Counsel states that ‘while this report does not conclude that the President committed a crime, it also does not exonerate him [emphasis added].’” 

So: Not exonerated.

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3/25/19: Party time for Trump! He’s been totally exonerated. “Christmas came early this week,” he tweets. 

Now, the sky is the limit. He’s going to be the best president ever. Better than Abe and George and that Kenyan guy. He’s going to be voted People magazine’s “Sexiest Man Alive” for 2019. He’s going to get Kim Jong-un to give up all his nukes. He’s finally going to get Mexico to pay for the wall. And he’s going to bang another porn star. Only this time, he’s not going to get caught.

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