7/17/21: What have we learned in the
first half of July about the orange outcast, Donald J. Trump?
 |
Ronald Reagan, right. |
*
IN THE GRAND SCHEME of life, Republicans have awakened to the
fact that climate change is real.
____________________
Loser Don remains as clueless as a ferret
in a forest fire.
____________________
Well, not all Republicans, of course. Loser Don remains as clueless as a ferret in a forest fire.
Meanwhile, Sen. Ron Johnson of Illinois had this to say at a recent GOP gathering. “I don’t know about you guys,” he told a group of lunkhead supporters, “but I think climate change is – as Lord Monckton [a British climate change denier] said – bulls***.” According to witnesses, Sen. Johnson mouthed the last syllable.
“By the way,” he added, “it is.”
Since this is a liberal blog, we will start with what we of a liberal proclivity call “evidence.” This week, The National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration reported that June was the hottest June ever recorded in the Lower 48. That would be the hottest in 127 years of record-keeping.
(Has Sen. Johnson even heard of the NOAA??)
To add a little Tabasco sauce to that unfortunate record, the European Union’s Copernicus Climate Change Service noted that June 2020 was the hottest June on record for all of North America.
That meant you could believe that leading scientists on two continents were telling the truth. Or you could be a Trump supporter and listen to Sen. Johnson and QAnon fools. Who are you going to believe? People with science on their side? Or people posting anonymously on the internet! According to the Q-crew, John F. Kennedy Jr. is alive and posting on 4chan as “Q” himself.
In fact, according to QAnon gospel, JFK Jr.’s dad was killed by liberals. Ronald Reagan was wounded by the same bloodthirsty crew. Only three modern U.S. presidents, including those two, were not in on the “fix.” That fix being control of society by satanic pedophile liberals. Can you guess who the third president was, not to have been part of the fix? You will never….
Okay. It was Donald J. Trump!
Stupid liberal scientists, measuring temperatures with thermometers! “Q” has the scoop! JFK Jr.’s plane was shot down by a C.I.A. missile! This was part of the plot to make way for Hillary Clinton to advance her career! But even though the missile blew his plane out of the sky, JFK Jr. survived! This makes perfect sense!! In fact, this may be where QAnon-loving Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene learned about Jewish space lasers!!! Which she says were used to spark California forest fires!!!!
We need more exclamation points!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Now JFK Jr. is sending messages from the grave. Only he’s not f***ing dead! He’s been in hiding for almost 21 years. Anyway, July 17 is the anniversary of the day he nearly died. But didn’t!! And in blackjack, “21” wins. Unless the dealer also has “21.” But we don’t care about that.
Let’s follow this story to a QAnon-style conclusion. Which means we’re just making s*** up. Jr. returns on the twenty-first anniversary of his fake death. He turned 60 last November 25. Which was the day before Thanksgiving! Amazing! But true!! So, QAnon believers, Thanksgiving is coming. With a second helping of Donald J. Trump!!! He’s going to be resurrected, like Jesus, only politically, which isn’t as cool. He’s going to be back in the White House, on the morning of August 13.
Who says? Constitutional experts?
F*** those guys. What do they know?
Mike Lindell says. The MyPillow guy!!! In a dream, he visited Pillow Land. And the White House was orange. And the front door popped open. And out came Melania!! Then there was a parade of pardoned felons: Paul Manafort, Roger Stone, Gen. Michael T. Flynn. The whole gang was there. Not Mike Pence though. He had been replaced by John F. Kennedy Jr., himself.
OMG! I got so excited telling this tale, which I made up, I forgot. After Flynn, Trump himself emerged from the White House! Victorious at last! He had his Twitter Powers back! And he was followed by Sen. Ron Johnson.
The senator had Joe Biden’s head on a platter!
“Bulls***,” Sen. Johnson shouted. This time he didn’t mouth the word. Then he took Biden’s head and punted it across Pennsylvania Avenue. It landed on a Black Lives Matter supporter, exploded, and killed her dead.
See? Who needs evidence!! It’s going to happen!!! August 13!!!! In a recent interview, Mr. Lindell said Donald’s return will be “the talk of the world!!!!!”
In fact, “down-ticket senators” on the GOP side will magically prevail, and oust Democratic imposters from their seats!!!!
This liberal can hardly wait!!!!!!
*
BEFORE WE GOT EXCITED and started spraying exclamation points, we noted that some Republicans are now admitting that we (as in “humanity”) might need to address climate change.
As Politico explains, Rep. John Curtis from Utah wants to lead his party to the negotiating table in search of solutions to the climate challenge – which the head of his party, Donald J. Dunce has always called a hoax. Curtis has announced formation of a “Conservative Climate Caucus,” which has the backing of nearly a third of House Republicans. With a little bit of luck he hopes to get the rest of his party comfortable talking about the issue. Which is a hoax!
And bulls***!!!
Anyway, Politico asked why he decided to step forward now?
Rep. Curtis explained:
If
I had a magic wand, we would have done this sooner. I think the main reason
that we didn’t is I’ve been on a personal journey myself for several years,
trying to get my climate feet underneath me. Of late, I feel like I better
understand the science – although I still don’t completely understand it – but I
better understand it. I understand solutions.
Ha, ha, what a dope! What does
JFK Jr. say about climate change? That’s what QAnon folks want to know.
*
13,925 scientists from 158 countries.
IN REALITY, only a complete dunce would miss all the signs of a growing climate emergency. California suffered through an historically bad fire season last year. The state is on track to burn up at an even more alarming pace in 2021. Two fires northwest of Reno, Nevada have turned 157 square miles to ash. Sprague River, Oregon, in southern Oregon, is in the path of a conflagration that has already consumed 377 square miles of forest.
With intense heat having fried the Southwest and then the Northwest for months (what any scientist would tell you is evidence of climate change), and drought squeezing the region ever more tightly, conditions are ripe for another catastrophic fire season. Palm Springs, California has hit 120° four times this year. Las Vegas saw the thermometer top out at 117, only the fifth time it has touched that mark. Four of five marks were recorded in 2005, 2013, 2017 and July 2021. (See any trend?) In Death Valley, the hottest place on earth, temperatures were averaging eight degrees hotter than normal. St. George, Utah hit 117 last Saturday – if confirmed, the hottest temperature ever recorded in that state. A fire in Washington has charred 60 square miles. The governor of Idaho has mobilized the state’s National Guard to combat blazes touched off by lightning striking tinder-dry forests. Lake Mead, which supplies essential water to 25 million Americans, and helps irrigate farmland in California, Arizona, Nevada, and parts of Mexico, is at an all-time low in its 85-year existence.
As Reuters explained this week,
Scientists have said the growing frequency and intensity of
wildfires are largely attributable to prolonged drought and increasing bouts of
excessive heat that are symptomatic of climate change [emphasis added].
Nearly 70 National Weather Service stations across the West have
posted all-time high temperatures this summer, and several hundred record highs
for specific dates have also been set, Lawrence said.
Fire season has come early again in 2021. The National Interagency Fire Center warns that we are already at Level 5, the highest, with all firefighting resources committed. As of July 16, there were 70 active blazes, which had so far burned up 1,061,516 acres. That’s like reducing Rhode Island to ash.
So, here’s a choice. You can stay up late on August 12, and party like it’s 2016, as you get psyched for the return of President Donald J. Trump.
Plus, JFK Jr.!
Or you can look at facts. As of today, 13,925 scientists from 158 countries, have signed a warning to humanity. It reads, in part:
We
scientists have a moral obligation to clearly warn humanity of any catastrophic
threat. In this paper, we present a suite of graphical vital signs of
climate change over the last 40 years. Results show greenhouse gas emissions
are still rising, with increasingly damaging effects. With few exceptions, we
are largely failing to address this predicament. The climate crisis has arrived
and is accelerating faster than many scientists expected. It is more severe
than anticipated, threatening natural ecosystems and the fate of humanity.
And
if you can’t grasp the danger, that is some bulls*** for sure.
No comments:
Post a Comment