November 19, 2020: The Day Rudy Melted

 

11/19/20: Thursday shall go down in history as the day Rudy Giuliani melted on live TV. Years from now political scientists will study what has to be one of the weirdest press conferences ever held by a team purportedly representing the President of the United States.

 

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“An elite strike force.”

 

Jenna Ellis

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And not just any team! Mr. Giuliani was accompanied by two other lawyers, Sidney Powell, and Jenna Ellis. Both spoke at length. Ellis referred to efforts to prove massive voter fraud as the work of an “elite strike force.” (See: 11/22/20.) 

Rudy, of course, had recently been filmed looking for an elite strike force in his pants, after being caught in a Sacha Baron Cohen movie sting. That sting featured Rudy in a room with a young woman he believed was a teenage reporter. After she helped him adjust his mic, Rudy lay down on the bed and the search commenced – only to be rudely interrupted by Cohen in his character as the teen reporter’s cross-dressing father, barging into the room, and shouting at Mr. Giuliani. 

Rudy showed up next at the Four Seasons in Philadelphia, apparently believing he was going to present a talk about election fraud at the four-star hotel. It turned out to be a classic f**k up, with Rudy talking from a podium in front of a garage door at the Four Seasons Total Landscaping company, in a poor section of town. On one side you had a crematorium. On the other was a sex shop. Keen-eyed reporters noted the shop was running a special called “DILDO MADNESS.”

 

In other words, Rudy was in the right place.

 

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IF NONE OF THIS sounded like the work of an elite strike force, it only got worse once today’s press conference began. 

Rudy was mad about voter fraud in multiple states – that is any state that failed to vote for Donald Trump. 

“It’s not a singular voter fraud in one state,” Giuliani warned, this time speaking from the Republican National Committee headquarters. He was adamant – that he and his team had proof – and Trump had been robbed: 

This pattern repeats itself in a number of states, almost exactly the same pattern, which any experienced investigator prosecutor, which suggests that there was a plan – from a centralized place to execute these various acts of voter fraud, specifically focused on big cities, and specifically focused on, as you would imagine, big cities controlled by Democrats, and particularly if they focused on big cities that have a long history of corruption.

 

I know crimes, I can smell them. You don’t have to smell this one, I can prove it to you, 18 different ways. I can prove to you that he won, Pennsylvania, by 300,000 votes. I can prove to you that he won Michigan, probably 50,000 votes. 

 

To be honest, it was hard not to be distracted, while “America’s Mayor” talked. Someone must have turned the thermostat up to 95°. Sweat poured down Rudy’s cheeks. A recent hair dye job (maybe to enhance his sex appeal where teenage reporters are involved) proved problematic. The beads of sweat turned into brown streaks, and he had to keep mopping his brow. 

 

“American patriots are fed up with corruption.” 

Sidney Powell didn’t bring the melting hair dye. What she did bring was the ironclad confidence of a person who would believe anything she heard and then want you to believe it too. She spun a fairy tale with so many moving parts you had to credit reporters for not bursting out laughing as she talked. 

Here’s how Powell described the main plot against President Trump. There had been, 

…massive influence of communist money through Venezuela, Cuba, and likely China [emphasis added, unless otherwise noted] and the interference with our elections here in the United States. The Dominion voting systems…were created in Venezuela at the direction of Hugo Chavez to make sure he never lost an election after one constitutional referendum came out the way he didn’t want it to come out.

 

She went on to claim, 

We have one very strong witness, who has explained how it all works. His affidavit is attached to the pleadings of Lin Wood [a prominent attorney] and the lawsuit he filed in Georgia. It is a stunning, detailed affidavit, because he was with Hugo Chavez, while he was being briefed on how it worked, with Hugo Chavez when he saw it operate, to make sure the election came out his way, that was the express purpose for creating the software, he has seen this operate, and as soon as he saw the multiple states shut down the voting at the…on the night of the election…he knew the same thing was happening here, that that was what had gone on.

 

Powell then made it “clear” that George Soros was involved in this fraud. And the Clinton Foundation had played a role. Antifa had a hand. Black Lives Matter, too. If she had said aliens from a distant galaxy landed their spaceships in a field in Pennsylvania and started manipulating that state’s vote, and alternately mating with Farmer Brown’s cows, it would have made just as much sense. 

Ms. Powell was just getting warmed up. She would go on radio the next day to insist that Biden had received ten million bogus votes. Seven million of those were switched from Trump’s column to the Vice President’s tally, all through the shenanigans of Dominion Voting Machines. 

For good measure, she insisted that several million dead people had voted, apparently, all for Joe Biden.

 

Powell went on to say, in her radio interview, that the Trump campaign had plans to file a whole bunch of winning court challenges. That despite the fact, that as of Thursday, the Day Rudy Melted, Team Trump had already filed 30 challenges to the vote, and won (temporarily) one. 

Powell had plenty to say, all of it cuckoo. At the press conference with Rudy and Jenna, she went on to claim that both Democratic and Republican politicians had paid bribes to the Dominion folks to get results they desired. 

It was mesmerizing to watch Powell speak, a woman brimming with confidence, possessed with a head apparently filled like a coconut. At one point, she insisted, “this is the 1775 of our generation and beyond,” which sounded like a threat involving muskets and Minutemen if Trump didn’t win.

 

Naturally, like every right-wing shill in the last fifty years, Powell claimed the mantel of patriotism for her zany side.

 

We will not be intimidated. American patriots are fed up with corruption from the local level to the highest levels of our government. And we are going to take this country back….we are not going to be intimidated, we are not going to back down, we are going to clean this mess up now, President Trump won by a landslide, and we are going to prove it. And we are going to reclaim the United States of America for people who vote for freedom.

 

While Powell talked, Ms. Ellis stood behind her, a smirk on her face, not noticing or not caring that her colleague was talking civil war. Still, anything was better than watching another human being melt on camera.

 

Finally, Ellis got up and ranted about “fake news” and how almost no one was broadcasting their press conference live.

 

“This is what you can expect to see when we get to court, to actually have a full trial on the merits, to actually show this evidence in court, and prove our case,” she fumed. “This is not a Law & Order episode where everything is wrapped up neatly in sixty minutes.”

 

Clearly, she grumbled, most of the reporters in the room had never been court reporters. They didn’t realize what a great case the “elite strike force” was presenting right then and there. “This is basically an opening statement so the American people can understand what the networks have been hiding and what they refuse to cover because all of your fake-news headlines are dancing around the merits of this case and are trying to delegitimize what we are doing here.”

 

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“The most dangerous 1hr 45 minutes of TV in American history.” 

I, FOR ONE, found it impossible to look away. In the end, it was bad enough that the case for massive voter fraud in the November 2020 election, rested on the work of Hugo Chavez, dead since March 2013. 

It was interesting that the election-stealing technology Powell insisted was used in 2020 was around in 2016, yet the Clinton Foundation had failed to use it to swing the votes in three much closer state races that year. 

So, let’s give Christopher Krebs, until earlier this week, the head of U.S. cybersecurity tasked with protecting our elections, the last word.

 

“That press conference was the most dangerous 1hr 45 minutes of television in American history. And possibly the craziest,” he tweeted. “If you don’t know what I’m talking about, you’re lucky.”

 

 

POSTSCRIPT: The day after attending the press conference Andrew Giuliani, Rudy’s son, tested positive for COVID-19. 

So, if Rudy’s flop sweat had been evidence of a positive test coming, no one would have been surprised. 

As ABC noted: 

Andrew Giuliani works a sports liaison at the White House, with an annual salary of $95,000, according to government document[s].

 

His Twitter profile says he is “Currently serving the American public as Special Assistant to President Donald J. Trump until January 20, 2025.”

 

Wait? What? Taxpayers are footing the bill for Andrew Giuliani to serve as “sports liaison” at a salary of….

 

WTF!!!