January 2, 2021: God and Firing Squads - New Plan to Keep Trump in Office

 

1/2/21: Trump and his supporters refuse to give up hope of overturning election results and telling 81 million Biden voters they leap into Hades. Now there’s a new plan afoot. God and firing squads!

 

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God and firing squads!

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One Trump stalwart is Mike Lindell, the MyPillow guy. “This president won by a lot, by a landslide! I know there was fraud,” he tells reporters. “And I’m not just some pillow guy that they can mock out there.” 

(Actually, he is.)

Lindell puts in a call to God.

 

“You can’t give up. If these people [around the president] don’t end up standing up, they are just as bad as the people who tried to commit the crime,” Lindell continues. Trump also has key allies, including the Big Guy in the Sky. “God chose Donald Trump for eight years, not four,” Mr. Pillow says. “Even if Biden is inaugurated, there’s no statute of limitations [on election theft].” 

In just four more days last-ditch efforts to thwart the majority will come to a foreordained end. Sorry, MyPillow guy, but Biden got a record number of popular votes, and swamped Trump in the electoral vote as well. God had nothing to do with it. A majority of terrestrial beings, age 18 and above, who have the right to vote, never liked your boy.

 

Meanwhile, Mr. Lindell has tried to help both God and Trump by giving more than $1 million in support of Trump’s many failed court challenges to overturn the vote. I’ve lost track, but even with the Creator on their side, Trump’s legal team has a record something like:

 

0 wins, 59 losses, and a tie. 

With voters having spoken, and state and federal judges slapping aside court challenges like picnickers swatting away flies from the baked beans, right-wingers have grown increasingly desperate in their quest for recourse. 

Trump lawyer L. Lin Wood has attacked a number of top Republicans and listed a variety of entities he believes are working to hand the election to Joe Biden. Included in Wood’s list of those engaged in stealing the election: “CCP & other foreign countries.” “Globalists like George Soros,” “Elitists like Bill Gates,” “the C.I.A.” and “the military industrial complex.” Even worse, he and other Trump supporters had overlooked one great enemy: “THE REPUBLICANS.” 

Since Wood and Trump’s other lawyers have been spanked repeatedly by state and federal judges, Wood has formulated a new plan. “When arrests for treason begin, put Chief Justice John Roberts, VP Mike Pence & Mitch McConnell at [the] top of the list.”

 

Wood has no doubt what should come next. When someone on Twitter pushed back on his idea, that all the Republicans were suddenly working against Trump, he responded:

 

(Even worse, his call for “firing squads” had already garnered nearly 18,000 “likes” when I checked.)