February 9, 2019: President Trump Announces, "I Accomplished the Military."

 

2/9/19: If you missed it, in a recent Oval Office meeting, Trump announced, with tortured syntax, “I accomplished the military.” 

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Scrimping and saving on $2,061,068,493.15 per day.

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As per usual, Trump wanted to show there was always an “I” in “team” in any sentence he spoke granting credit. You had to wonder. Did he mean he created the U.S. Navy back in 1775? Or was it his idea to spin off the Army Air Force into a separate branch of the military on September 18, 1947?

It turns out, he was bragging about boosting the military budget, which you would have thought must have been zero dollars before he took over. In 2011, for example, with fighting having ramped up in Afghanistan, the U.S. defense budget was a measly $752.29 billion, forcing our admirals and generals to scrimp and save on $2,061,068,493.15 per day. Defense spending fell to $639.86 by 2016, as our role in Afghanistan and Iraq was reduced. The federal deficit also declined. 

The burden of stretching that $639 billion plus, for one extra day, in a Leap Year, in 2016, must have driven the military mad, what with only $1,748,251,366.12 to throw at problems every twenty-four hours. 

Still! Trump “accomplished” the military, including getting the Navy ten more ships than had already been planned. 

Rumor has it, Trump expects the new vessels to be named the U.S.S. Donald J. Trump, the U.S.S. I Accomplished This Ship, the U.S.S. Donald is a Stud Muffin, and other fitting names in his honor. 

I, for one, am thinking the U.S.S. Stormy Daniels would be fun. 

Now we know. The 2019 defense budget will be $731.75 billion, and Donald J. Trump did it all by himself, except for paying any taxes, and the federal deficit, which Trump claimed he would wipe out with ease, will not be wiped out.

 

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A cream sold to active duty troops and veterans with scarring. 

SPEAKING OF the U.S. defense budget, in today’s episode of “Government is always the Problem,” and putting business folks (like Trump) in charge of everything is the solution, we focus on a quality manufacturer of skin care products. This company produces a cream to treat pain and scarring. Their cream is sold to active duty troops still recovering from serious injuries and veterans now out of the service. 

The only problem is that the company charges $14,000 for each tube of this most excellent cream. 

This price is clearly steep. That meant, in an effort to increase sales, distributors and doctors had to come up with a scam. Among other tricks, they paid active duty troops and veterans to say they needed the cream. Then they provided kickbacks, even if the soldiers, sailors, and Marines threw the expensive tubes in the trash. Who cared if they needed pain relief! 

Sales boomed! 

The company also provided bounties to doctors who prescribed more tubes of their excellent product, and everyone involved headed for their favorite banking institutions in good moods. 

Sadly, all good scams must come to an end and the federal authorities broke up the skin-care-crime-ring this week. 

Assorted individuals were arrested and charged with stealing $65 million from the federal government.

 

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OTHERWISE, Trump has kept busy arguing with heads of U.S. intelligence about the wisdom of several recent foreign policy stands. Experts do not agree, for example, that ISIS has been defeated. 

 

Someone forgot to inform the general. 

As reported by DefenseNews, this week Gen. Joseph Votel, who leads U.S. Central Command (CENTCOM), spoke before the Senate Armed Services Committee. He tells the senators he was caught by surprise when President Twitter Thumbs declared he would be ordering withdrawal of U.S. troops from Syria and cutting forces in Afghanistan in half. 

“I was not aware of the specific announcement,” he told the Senate panel. “Certainly, we were aware that he had expressed a desire and intent” to leave. 

“I was not consulted [emphasis added],” he said. 

“The fight against ISIS and violent extremists is not over and our mission has not changed,” he continued. “The coalition’s hard-won battlefield gains can only be secured by maintaining a vigilant offensive against a now largely dispersed and disaggregated ISIS that retains leaders, fighters, facilitators and a profane ideology that fuels their efforts.” 

This failure to notify Votel would be an obvious problem. This CENTCOM map shows the region for which he had responsibility.

 

CENTCOM area of responsibility.

 

We might also point out that the U.S. government might have a little extra cash to spend on bullets, if President Trump wasn’t always jetting off to Mar-a-Lago every time he gets bored pretending to be the Leader of the Free World. According to data gathered by the Government Accountability Office, Trump’s trips first four trips to Florida cost $3.4 million per. That includes a direct payment of $60,000 to the Mar-a-Lago club, for use of space. 

That would bring the total cost of 19 trips to Florida to roughly $64 million, so far. Or: far more than the cost of the Russia investigation.

 

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NOW UNDER DEMOCRATIC CONTROL, the House Intelligence Committee has sent the transcripts of some fifty witnesses who testified previously before Congress in the Russia probe, to Special Counsel Robert Mueller. We already know two Trump buddies, Roger Stone, and ex-buddy Michael Cohen, have been indicted for lying to Congress. Look for there to be others. 

Among those whose transcripts are being delivered and who should probably be sweating profusely: Donald Trump Jr., Jared Kushner, Brad Parscale and Alexander Nix. Nix ran digital operations during the 2016 campaign. Hope Hicks, who helped put together a misleading letter about a key meeting with agents of the Russian government – with Don Jr. and Jared – is also in danger. 

All five are hot candidates to have committed perjury. 

The president reacts to the news by labeling Rep. Schiff “a political hack” in a tweet. He calls efforts to investigate potential violations of the law nothing more than “presidential harassment.” 

Still, there is one politician Trump still ♥♥♥’s and he makes that clear moments later, in a follow-up tweet: 

North Korea, under the leadership of Kim Jong Un, will become a great Economic Powerhouse. He may surprise some but he won’t surprise me, because I have gotten to know him & fully understand how capable he is. North Korea will become a different kind of Rocket - an Economic one!

 

The two chunky heads of state are scheduled to meet again at the end of the month in Hanoi. For obvious reasons, this will be Trump’s first trip to Vietnam.