December 22, 2021: Guess Who Got Vaccinated!

12/22/21: With only two more shopping days until Christmas, the plot to kill Trump fans is working to perfection. I admit. I am an unwitting part of the plot – much as I may seem to be only a mild-mannered former Marine – one who spent his military career, 1968-70, plunked at a desk in Camp Pendleton. I used to tell my students that I defended my country with a staple gun. 

Still, I am doing my bit to kill Trump fans.

Guess who's vaccinated!

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“We want smallpox! We want smallpox!”

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Sunday, we had fresh evidence that the scheme is working to perfection. When the Donald Trump-Bill O’Reilly-Sex-Abusers Tour plunked down in Houston for a show, even the ex-president ran into trouble. When Donald told a normally adoring (but sparse) crowd that he had received the booster shot to protect his lard ass from the coronavirus, his fans started to jeer. 

O’Reilly confirmed that he, too, had had the booster and he was neither magnetized nor glowing in the dark like a night-light, as right-wing opinion-makers have warned would happen. 

I really thought the crowd might erupt in shouts of, “Lock him up! Lock him up!” But they were stunned to inaction.

 

Trump quickly shushed his followers and did his best, hogging all the credit for getting the vaccines made – even though most of his followers believe the vaccines are going to cause them to become impotent, or start acting like chimpanzees, as their DNA is manipulated. He told the audience he still opposed vaccine mandates, but warned that when they doubted the vaccine’s benefits his enemies loved it. That meant Trump supporters were “playing right into their hands.” 

Yeah. Our hands.

 

That same day, we had a second jolt of proof that the plot was playing out to perfection. Famous quitter Sarah Palin assured yet another conservative audience, “It will be over my dead body that I’ll have to get a shot.” 

Not all the forces of the federal government could make her bend a knee to the tyranny of good health, she assured listeners. “I will not. I won’t do it and they better not touch my kids either.” 

(Sound of unvaccinated Trump fans loading their automatic rifles.)

 

You had to love that last touch if you were in on the plot. Speaking of protecting her “kids.” Why it tugged at even my satanic liberal heart strings. (See: QAnon.) Her kids are all adults, however, and can get or not get the shots as they so desire. 

Anyway, the crowd cheered and started chanting, “We want smallpox! We want smallpox! Also measles!!” 

At almost that same moment, here in Ohio, we had ample evidence to show that the conspiracy to kill off Trump supporters was proceeding. The state set a record for daily COVID-19 cases, with 12,502 on Tuesday. A few more days like this and we’ll set the state record for most coronavirus patients hospitalized – almost all of them unvaccinated. According to the Ohio Hospital Association, 4,797 patients with the virus currently reside in hospital beds. 

The OHA also reports that since the start of this year 13,327 unvaccinated Ohioans have died from COVID-19. 

That compares with 646 fully-vaccinated individuals. 

Or, to put it another way, the unvaccinated Trump supporters, who jeer the shots, have 20 times the risk of dying from the virus. 

We’re going to turn Ohio back to blue in 2022.

 

* 

AND SO it comes to this. For two years, I have been saying, hey, wear a mask, because it will help reduce the spread of not only the coronavirus, but cold germs and flu germs, and flying snot if you sneeze. 

It’s also good to mask up out of politeness to store clerks, waiters, and others, who otherwise have to consider every customer they meet a potential germ time bomb about to blow up. 

My cousin’s wife keeps telling me that Joe Biden wants to kill her by making her get a vaccination. According to Trump, I trick her by posting a long, long list of medical organizations that recommend wearing masks and getting shots – including pediatricians’ groups, who fear a fresh variant might start killing children. 

Well, then, the plot, I guess, is working.

 

I post about the number of deaths (as above), vaccinated vs. un-vaccinated. A conservative Facebook friend says he won’t get the shots because the shots will make his balls swell to the size of cantaloups. I quote a string of real doctors who say almost every patient they see in hospitals with COVID happens to be un-vaccinated. Another Facebook “friend” questions my character. 

He says Biden is a tyrant and I hate freedom. 

So, I guess you can say my Trump-loving friends and relatives continue to play into our liberal hands, just as Rejected-President Donald warned. We tell them they are mistaken for refusing shots. They say the virus is no worse than the flu. They say Joe Rogan and Aaron Rogers told them horse pills will protect them – and they aren’t going to listen to a bunch of disease experts. They say they won’t get that sick if infected, because they’re young, and if they do get infected, they have a right to cough in every compass direction, because that’s what the Second Amendment says.

 

According to their beloved Trump, we have duped them into a stupor!!! We don’t want them to get vaccinated! When I quote Dr. Fauci, they quote back to me Alex Jones, who says those of us who have had shots will be dead within a year (meaning I’ve only got two more months to live – so I hope it’s a good Christmas). I throw up my hands every time the argument explodes on Facebook. I watch the “scheme” unfolding. Trump fans, at least the older ones, are going to keep dying in larger numbers and our side will win the popular vote by a mile in 2024, and Joe Biden will serve a second term. 

Maybe in a wheelchair. 

(Oh, wait, our side already did win the popular vote in 1992, 1996, 2000, 2008, 2012, 2016 and 2020.)

 

* 

ALL KIDDING ASIDE, let’s end by firing a deadly salvo in the “War on Christmas.” Since I don’t know who might read this post (if anyone) let me offer up this wish for all of you out there in America. 

a.      “Merry Christmas and Happy New Year,” if you’re a Christian, dodging fire in the imaginary war no one really declared.

b.     “Happy Kwanza,” if you prefer.

c.      “Enjoy the Winter Solstice,” if you’re a Druid.

d.     “Keep truckin’” if you’re an aging hippie.

e.      “Happy Hannukah!” if you’re a Jew.

f.       “Whodey,” if you cheer for the Cincinnati Bengals.

g.      “Stay Safe and Healthy, Get Your Shots, and Eat More Vegetables,” if you’re agnostic, etc.

 

May all of you have a Happy New Year, both my liberal friends and relatives, and all you Trump-lovers, vaxxed or otherwise. 

I (and all my closest loved ones) should be good to go. 

I got the COVID and – after catching the virus and enduring seventeen days of fevered misery – lived to tell. It was close, of course, and my nurse-practitioner daughter, who advocates masks and shots (because she was trained at Yale), said one day that if my blood oxygen level didn’t improve, she was going to insist I go to the hospital. 

Later, I got the vaccines. Two shots. Had to drive up to Dayton. Felt crappy afterwards, both times. 

Recently, I got the booster.

 

JOKING ASIDE, WE ON THIS SIDE DON’T WANT ANYONE ON YOUR SIDE TO GET SICK – AND CERTAINLY NOT GET SICK AND DIE. OR GET SICK AND HARDLY NOTICE AND GO TO YOUR FAMILY GATHERING AND INFECT AUNT AGNES. 

HOPE EVERYONE HAS A GREAT HOLIDAY AND I HOPE YOU ALL STAY SAFE IN 2022. 

I ALSO HOPE THE VIRUS DOESN’T KEEP SPREADING BECAUSE I HAVE SEASON TICKETS TO BENGALS GAMES AND WANT TO KEEP GOING. AND FOR ONCE, THEY’RE ACTUALLY PRETTY GOOD.