January 23-26, 2017: Trump Claims He Won the Popular Vote, Too

 

1/23/17: At a meeting with Congressional leaders, Trump alleges that not only did he win the electoral vote, massively, but he would have trounced Secretary Clinton in the popular vote, save for 3-5 million undocumented immigrants who voted illegally. He says he’s going to launch a big, big investigation!

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1/24/17: Speaker Paul Ryan says there is “no evidence” to support Trump’s claim that millions of illegal voters showed up at polls in November. 

Concerned that the president is undermining faith in American democracy – which is not exactly a great look for the leader of that democracy – Senator Lindsey Graham responds: “I am begging the president, share with us the information you have about this or please stop saying it.”  

 

Millions of voters illegally registered in two states. 

Top White House aide Stephen Miller insists that the problem of illegal voters swarming to the polls is real. He insists “millions of people who are registered in two states or who are dead are registered to vote” and show up at the polls. 

A little free press digging reveals that these potential illegals include Steve Bannon (registered in Florida and New York), Sean Spicer (Virginia and Rhode Island), Jared Kushner (New York and New Jersey) and Steve Mnuchin (New York and California). 

Even Tiffany Trump, probably the only normal Trump in the adult bunch, turns out to be registered twice (Pennsylvania and New York). Maybe she voted for Dad in one state and Hillary in the other.

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1/25/17: In fake-but-actually-true news, the media reports that membership fees at Mar-a-Lago have been doubled to $200,000. Don’t you dare hint that the Trump clan is planning to profit by his election. 

That figure does not include annual dues of $14,000.

 

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IN FAKE, BUT REALLY FAKE NEWS, our new president relates the sad, but not true, saga of Bernhard Langer, who so wanted his vote to count. 

Alas, a writer for Slate explains: 

During a meeting with lawmakers, the newly inaugurated president says that German professional golfer Bernhard Langer was prevented from voting in 2016 because there was a long line of suspicious Latin American individuals ahead of him. Follow-up reporting reveals that Langer is not an American citizen [emphasis added] and did not attempt to vote in the election at all; according to Langer, he heard a similar story from a friend and relayed it to someone who then told it to “a person with ties to the White House,” which would mean that Trump had been told the (obviously false) anecdote fifth-hand.  

 

BLOGGER’S NOTE (July 4, 2022): Other than the totally wrong facts (which will be a hallmark of Trump’s one term in office, it’s a great, subtly-racist anecdote. I mean, assuming you’re really fond of racists stories.

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1/26/17: On the 25^th, Trump taps away on Twitter: “As your President, I have no higher duty than to protect the lives of the American people.” 

The same day an anonymous individual at NASA tweets back:

  

Reporters explain why this individual went rogue. The new administration has slapped a gag order on thousands of NASA climate experts, National Park employees and health officials who might question the Trump Line.