June 5, 2020: President Trump Has a Busy Day of...Tweeting

 

6/5/20: At 12:21 a.m. President Trump gets a busy day as leader of the Free World off to a rousing start. He’s up late, a rarity. He notes his happiness that Iran has released Mike White, a Navy veteran, held hostage for two years. “So great to have Michael home. Just arrived. Very exciting. Thank you to Iran. Don’t wait until after U.S. Election to make the Big deal. I’m going to win. You’ll make a better deal now!”

 

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Why a good deal before the next election?

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Yes. Good news to have Mr. White back. 

But why was Trump offering a country he considers a sworn enemy a good deal before the next election? Kind of like asking Ukraine for help? Or listening to Russian offers in 2016? Trump should be trying to get the best deal with Iran possible, before the election, or after. Timing wouldn’t matter.

 

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Tweeting is what the man does best.

IT WAS off to bed soon after, for Mr. Sleepy. And then Trump rose again and began tweeting like a man who couldn’t stop watching porno. There were 55 retweets during the six a.m. hour, almost one per minute. 

That included Trump quoting Sen. Deb Fischer announcing: “I cannot think of a better way to celebrate Beef Month than by eating a burger today for #NationalBeefBurgerDay and sending a thank you to all our NE [Nebraska] cattle producers who are working hard to put beef on our tables.” 

You could perhaps commend the president for stamina and lightning quick thumbs, because in the seven a.m. hour he posted 74 times. He was, for example, excited to learn that the U.S. recovered 2.5 million jobs in May. So, he retweeted the White House, which reported, “With 2.5 MILLION jobs added in May, we’re on the way to an incredible period of growth!”  

Trump laid off at 8:01 and didn’t log back on to Twitter until 10:43. The onslaught recommenced. Trump went with the utter simplicity of retweeting a rabid Fox News host and Trump fan:

 

  

The president tweeted in the eleven a.m. hour, the twelve p.m., the one p.m., the two p.m. and the three p.m. hours. At 3:08 p.m., with a nation torn by protests, Trump spent his time as leader of a great nation, critiquing NFL quarterback Drew Brees. Brees had first said he did not believe players should kneel in protest when the 2020 season begins. Then he thought it over and apologized for insensitivity. In Trump’s world you never apologize. Sensitivity is weakness. So is human decency. 

He tap-tapped: 

I am a big fan of Drew Brees. I think he’s truly one of the greatest quarterbacks, but he should not have taken back his original stance on honoring our magnificent American Flag. OLD GLORY is to be revered, cherished, and flown high...

 

...We should be standing up straight and tall, ideally with a salute, or a hand on heart. There are other things you can protest, but not our Great American Flag - NO KNEELING!

 

The job of being president distracted him until after dinner. But in the six p.m. hour he was doing what he does best – lashing out at other Americans, who he is supposed to represent. He called the mayor of Washington D.C. “grossly incompetent,” which is a great way to help keep order in any city. 

In the next hour he retweeted the founder and co-chair of TrumpStudents, Ryan Fournier, who offered up another burst of simplicity: “Barack Obama put a target on the back of every cop in this country.” Because, sure. Criticizing what the only African American president we’ve ever had supposedly did four years ago will help sooth frayed nerves now. 

Then we had Trump talking about Gov. John Hickenlooper, “who got caught big time with his hand in the cookie jar.” 

And Trump outraged to find Portland, Oregon had paid a “violent Antifa leader for getting hit with a rubber bullet.” 

And the president retweeting some dude, retweeting some other dude, who was criticizing The New York Times. 

 

In the eight p.m. hour, an apparently rejuvenated President of the United States began tweeting vehemently once more: another 36 posts, including a revisit to his first tweet of the day, welcoming Michael White home. 

By now, bedtime was approaching. Trump got in a formulaic shot at the free press. “The Lamestream Media is out of control,” he said. “It would be impossible to fully explain how dishonest they are!” 

At 10:19, Trump signed off with a plug for a book you figure he’s never going to read (and I don’t mean the Bible). Exhausted by a busy day of tweeting – more than 200 posts – he collapsed into bed.

December 25, 2020: Merry Christmas Wishes to the Lame Duck

 

12/25/20: I say, “Merry Christmas, America!” In fact, “Merry Christmas, Mr. President and Happy New Year!” I hope you stay out of jail in 2021. 

If you read this blog, and to be honest, you really should, I know you’ll be looking for work soon, and maybe living off Pandemic Unemployment Assistance until you get your bone-spurred feet back on the ground.

 

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The presidential equivalent of an ugly Christmas sweater.

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So, I was thinking, sir. Maybe you could find work on television once you leave D.C. You could do a new season of The Apprentice: White House Edition. You could do four seasons, easy, with all the big names you’d have to choose from to appear on your show. 

The first season could feature your former press secretaries. That team of liars would be virtually impossible to beat. You could bring back Sarah “Pinocchio” Sanders. “Birther” McEnany could slide right in from her job as White House liar to TV liar. You’d have that other press secretary, the one who never gave a single press conference the whole time she worked in the White House, and Sean Spicer. Who can ever forget how Sean got your presidency off to such a great start! Who doesn’t remember when, during his first full day on the job, he claimed your Inaugural crowd was the largest ever, and roughly equal to the population of India? 

Right out of the box! “Pants on Fire!” It was a start of a glorious, prevaricating one-term presidency.

 

 

Again, I am merely thinking out loud. Trying, sir, to help a loser. The show could be filmed from Mar-a-Lago. So you could “work from home” like millions of Americans did this year. You could keep ignoring the virus until it disappears. Even better, the set for the show could be made to look like the Oval Office. So you’d feel less like a failed, one-term reject than you are. 

For the opening episode, Gen. Michael T. Flynn, the first man to be caught lying about Russia, could drive up to your estate in an M1A1 Abrams tank, since he and several of your cronies have suggested overturning the election by sending the military into contested states. Think of the scene! The hatches pop open. Flynn and his team pile out. You’d have the MyPillow guy. You’d have Allen West, chair of the Texas GOP, who suggested all red states secede unless election results are overturned. The fourth member, Mr. President-but-not-for-Long, could be a random white supremacist of your choice. Those guys have been itching to go to war against their fellow Americans for years. 

Anyway, I have many more ideas to share. Shoot me an email at vilejjv@yahoo.com if you want. 

For now, I wish you and your family, both the family members you may have to pardon, and the ones you won’t, the best for the coming New Year. 

 

POSTSCRIPT: In the end, Trump will be remembered by most Americans as the presidential equivalent of an ugly Christmas sweater, but one for which we were given the receipt by Aunt Mabel and so we could return. 

He lost the election. He may be unable to accept that reality; but most Americans already have. 

Then again: Mark Levin decides to spread some Christmas cheer on his holiday broadcast. He tells his audience (of up to 11 million listeners), that stealing elections “is becoming the norm for the Democrat Party.” He says his listeners should “crush them, crush them. We need to kick their ass.” 

(Or they could try to build a more inclusive party and stop trying to count on the white supremacist vote.)