A Liberal in Trumpistan: Donald Wins His Big, Big War

A brief history of the Iran War – in Big Talk.

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“Iran keeps playing us for suckers.”

President Donald J. Trump

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AS PRESIDENT DONALD J. TRUMP has often reminded us, the Iran War ended long ago and we won! It was over in March, and over in April, again. The Iranians had no cards, we were told. The president won the war again in May and had so much fun that he won it in June, for good measure.

At that point, The New York Times offered a collection of the president’s comments on how the war was going.

I have diligently added examples to flesh out their list and bring it forward to today.

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President Trump, speaking to the Iranian people on the night the war began:

“The hour of your freedom is at hand. Stay sheltered. Don’t leave your home. It’s very dangerous outside. Bombs will be dropping everywhere. When we are finished, take over your government. It will be yours to take. This will be, probably, your only chance for generations. For many years, you have asked for America’s help, but you never got it. No President was willing to do what I am willing to do tonight. Now you have a President who is giving you what you want.” Fox News, February 28.

“There will be no deal with Iran except UNCONDITIONAL SURRENDER!” Truth Social post on March 6.

“I think the war is very complete, pretty much. [Iran has] no navy, no communications, they’ve got no air force. Their missiles are down to a scatter. Their drones are being blown up all over the place, including their manufacturing of drones. If you look, they have nothing left. There’s nothing left in a military sense.” Trump to CBS News, March 9.

“They’ve shot everything they have to shoot, and they better not try anything cute or it’s going to be the end of that country. … If they do anything bad, that would be the end of Iran and you’d never hear the name again.” Trump to CBS News, March 9.

(The U.S., says the president, “could do a lot” and would soon open the Strait of Hormuz.)

That same afternoon the Department of Defense posted on X, “We have Only Just Begun to Fight” and “no mercy.”

“No, in my opinion, based on what I’ve seen, that was done by Iran. We think it was done by Iran – because they are very inaccurate, as you know, with their munitions. They have no accuracy whatsoever. It was done by Iran.” Trump blames Iran for hitting a girls’ school, killing 175 students and faculty. March 7, the president replies to a question on Air Force One.

“I think the war is very complete, pretty much. [Iran has] no navy, no communications, they’ve got no air force. Their missiles are down to a scatter. Their drones are being blown up all over the place, including their manufacturing of drones. … If you look, they have nothing left. There’s nothing left in a military sense.” March 9, in call to CBS, from his golf club in Doral, Florida.

Initial reports from the U.S. military indicate the school was hit by a Tomahawk cruise missile, a staple of the U.S. attack capabilities. Trump is asked by a reporter if he takes responsibility. “I don’t know about it,” he replies. March 11, speaking to gathered reporters outside the White House.

The president describes the attack on Iran as a “a little excursion that will keep us out of war.” He also says attacking Iran has been “easier than we thought.” March 11, speaking to reporters at a stop in Ohio.

“We’ve won. We’ve won. You never like to say too early you won. We won. In the first hour it was over.” Trump, speaking in Hebron, Kentucky, March 12.

“Look, we took an excursion. We had the greatest economy ever. Still do. And we have to do a little excursion to get rid of mad people, crazy people that have – that want to have nuclear weapons.” Trump, calling in to Fox News, March 13.

“... Iran, which is totally defeated and wants a deal ...” Truth Social post on March 13.

Trump claims a former president told him he approved of his decision to go to war with Iran. “And yet every president knew. I’ve spoken to a certain president, who I like, actually, a past president, a former president. He said, ‘I wish I did it, I wish I did,’ but they didn’t do it. I’m doing it.” March 17, talking to the Board of Trustees at the Kennedy Center.

(All four living presidents quickly deny saying that.)

The White House lifts sanctions, allowing Iran to sell oil to the rest of the world. “In essence,” Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent explains, “we will be using the Iranian barrels against Tehran to keep the price down as we continue Operation Epic Fury.”

In other words, we have outfoxed the Iranians by agreeing to let them sell valuable oil so that they can buy more missiles and drones from Russian and China. Absolute genius! Bessent post on X, March 20.

“We have had very, very strong talks...” President Trump speaking to a press gaggle, March 23.

“VERY GOOD AND PRODUCTIVE CONVERSATIONS ...” Truth Social post on March 23.

“They are ‘begging’ us to make a deal ...” Truth Social post on March 26.

“Of course they’re negotiating, they’ve been obliterated. Who wouldn’t negotiate?” Remarks on March 26.

“They’re begging to make a deal, not me.” Trump comment on Iranian leaders, March 26, cabinet meeting.

“Time is running out – 48 hours before all Hell will reign [sic] down on them.” Truth Social post, April 4.

“We have all the cards, Iran has none. We are in this military operation for 32 days and they have been eviscerated.” President Trump, U.S. State Department video, April 4.

“[T]he entire country” of Iran “can be taken out in one night, and that night might be tomorrow night.” President Trump, White House press conference, April 5.

“Tuesday will be Power Plant Day, and Bridge Day, all wrapped up in one, in Iran. Open the Fuckin’ Strait, you crazy bastards, or you’ll be living in Hell – JUST WATCH!” Truth Social post, April 5.

“They’ve made a proposal, and it’s a significant proposal.” Remarks on April 6.

Trump changes direction again, the next day: “A whole civilization will die tonight, never to be brought back again. I don’t want that to happen, but it probably will. However, now that we have Complete and Total Regime Change, where different, smarter, and less radicalized minds prevail, maybe something revolutionarily wonderful can happen, WHO KNOWS?” Truth Social post on April 7.

U.S. casualties in the Iran War now total 13 Americans killed, another 381 wounded. Pentagon report, April 8.

“I think it's close to over, yeah. I view it as very close to being over.” Trump, to Fox News, April 15.

“This process should go very quickly,” and most points are “already negotiated and agreed to. … The U.S.A. will get all nuclear dust,” Mr. Trump told a crowd in Arizona last week. “You know what the nuclear dust is? That was that white powdery substance created by our B-2 bombers.” He adds, “No money will exchange hands in any way, shape or form.” April 17, Iran will agree to give up their enriched uranium.

“Iran decided to fire bullets yesterday in the Strait of Hormuz – A Total Violation of our Ceasefire Agreement! Many of them were aimed at a French Ship, and a Freighter from the United Kingdom. That wasn’t nice, was it? My Representatives are going to Islamabad, Pakistan – They will be there tomorrow evening, for Negotiations. Iran recently announced that they were closing the Strait, which is strange, because our BLOCKADE has already closed it. They’re helping us without knowing, and they are the ones that lose with the closed passage, $500 Million Dollars a day! … We’re offering a very fair and reasonable DEAL, and I hope they take it because, if they don’t, the United States is going to knock out every single Power Plant, and every single Bridge, in Iran. NO MORE MR. NICE GUY! They’ll come down fast, they’ll come down easy and, if they don’t take the DEAL, it will be my Honor to do what has to be done, which should have been done to Iran, by other Presidents, for the last 47 years.” Trump, posting on Truth Social, April 19.

“Based on the fact that the Government of Iran is seriously fractured, not unexpectedly so and, upon the request of [Pakistani leaders] … we have been asked to hold our Attack on the Country of Iran until such time as their leaders and representatives can come up with a unified [peace] proposal.” April 20, Trump, explaining on X, why he will extend the ceasefire with Iran.

Ignoring the ceasefire extension, Iranian forces fire on three merchant vessels in the Strait of Hormuz. April 22.

A variety of people familiar with damage to American assets in the Middle East note that “runways, high-end radar systems, dozens of aircraft, warehouses, command headquarters, aircraft hangars and satellite communications infrastructure” have been destroyed or damaged. April 26, as reported by The Hill.

“The hostilities that began on February 28, 2026, have terminated.” White House letter to Congress, May 1.

“They’ve got nothing left, they’re done,” Trump says of the Iranians. Yet, some news outlets make it sound like the enemy is “winning the war.” CNN, he calls “stupid,” regarding its coverage.

“If you read The New York Times – it’s actually seditious, in my opinion,” he grumbles.

The president added that he did not “care” about such reporting, insisting, “everybody knows the facts. We are decimating the country.” Oval Office meeting with reporters, May 1.

“We’ve already won, but I want to win by a bigger margin.” Trump in a Newsmax interview, May 1.

“I am fully aware that my Representatives are having very positive discussions with the Country of Iran, and that these discussions could lead to something very positive for all.” Truth Social Post on May 3.

In that same post, the president made a promise to nations whose ships were trapped in the closed Strait. “We will guide their Ships safely out of these restricted Waterways, so that they can freely and ably get on with their business.”

“They’ll be blown off the face of the earth.” Warning to Iran, if they attack U.S. warships in the Strait of Hormuz, May 4.

Under heavy pressure, Iran has become “much more malleable” in negotiations. Trump statement, May 4.

“Iran has fired at commercial vessels nine times and seized two container ships. And they’ve attacked U.S. forces more than 10 times.” Department of War, comment by Joint Chiefs of Staff Gen. Dan Caine May 5.

“I’m getting a letter supposedly tonight, so we’ll see how that goes.” Trump sees progress in negotiations. Press gaggle on May 8.

“I have just read the response from Iran’s so-called ‘Representatives.” I don’t like it — TOTALLY UNACCEPTABLE! Thank you for your attention to this matter. President DONALD J. TRUMP.” Truth Social post on May 10.

“The only thing that matters when I’m talking about Iran – they can’t have a nuclear weapon.” Statement by the president, May 12.

“For Iran, the Clock is Ticking, and they better get moving, FAST, or there won’t be anything left of them. TIME IS OF THE ESSENCE! President DJT.” Truth Social post, May 17.

“We were getting ready to do a very major attack tomorrow, and I put it off ... because we’ve had very big discussions with Iran ...” Press gaggle on May 18.

“Final aspects and details of the Deal are currently being discussed, and will be announced shortly.” Truth Social post on May 23.

The deal is imminent: “Every day it gets better and better. I can’t tell you before I tell them, right?” Trump to reporters, May 23.

“... I have informed my representatives not to rush into a deal in that time is on our side.” Truth Social post on May 24.

I laugh at all of the Dumocrats, RINOS, and Fools who know nothing about the potential deal I am making with Iran, things that haven’t even been negotiated yet, weak and ineffective people like failed Senator Thom Tillis (Soon out of office!), Bill Cassidy, who just suffered a massive Primary loss, really bad Congressman Thomas Massie, a major sleazebag who lost in a landslide to a great American Patriot (Endorsed by “TRUMP”) after showing tremendous disloyalty to his Party (and Country!), and almost all Dumocrats … These people should go home and rest, they do nothing but create division and loss. In other words, they are losers! The deal with Iran will either be a great and meaningful one, or there will be no deal. It will be the exact opposite of the JCPOA disaster negotiated by the failed Obama Administration, which was a direct and open path to a Nuclear Weapon for Iran. Trump Truth Social post, May 25.

(On the day that President Obama left office, Iran had zero nuclear weapons.)

The U.S. launches new strikes targeting Iranian missile sites and boats attempting to place mines in the Strait of Hormuz. The strikes were in “self-defense” and designed “to protect our troops from threats posed by Iranian forces.” U.S. Central Command (Centcom) statement, May 26.

Iran breaks off negotiations with the United States, over Israeli strikes in Lebanon and oil prices spike again. US benchmark WTI crude now trading above $94.50 per barrel. Report, Yahoo Finances, June 1.

“You’re fucking crazy. You’d be in prison if it weren’t for me. I’m saving your ass. Everybody hates you now. Everybody hates Israel because of this.” President Trump in phone call to Prime Minister Netanyahu, after the Israelis launch renewed attacks in Lebanon.

“We’re no longer conducting sustained strikes inside of Iran to degrade their military, because Epic Fury is over.” Secretary of State Marco Rubio, indicating the fighting with Iran is over.

He continued:

“We define victory as destroying their defense industrial base, significantly reducing the number of missile launchers that they possess, significantly reducing their stockpile of drones. And we achieved all those, in addition to destroying what they had left of an air force and wiping out their entire conventional navy.” Testimony before Congress, June 3.

An Iranian drone hits the main passenger terminal at Kuwait International Airport, killing one, injuring dozens. June 3, Kuwait’s Directorate General of Civil Aviation video release.

“I don’t care if they’re over, honestly. Frankly, I thought they started to get very boring.” Trump, on June 3, expressing disinterest in whether talks with Iran to end hostilities were continuing or not.

“Look, I’m starting to feel like we’re Charlie Brown and Iran is Lucy, and every time we go to kick the ball, it’s taken away.” GOP Congressman Carlos Giménez (R-Fla.), June 9.

Iranian forces shoot down a U.S. Apache helicopter. The U.S. responds by striking “Iranian air defense, ground control stations, and surveillance radar sites near the Strait of Hormuz.” CENTCOM statement, June 10.

“Iran keeps playing us for suckers because they dealt with some very stupid presidents. I’m embarrassed to say some very stupid people were sitting here. Trump statement during Oval Office press gathering, June 10.

(Irony is dead in the Oval Office. Also: Self-awareness.)

“[The Iranians are] dying to make a deal. They want to make a deal so badly. We dropped $250 million of bombs on them last night. They’re really in submission. They just don’t know it yet.” Trump call to Fox News, June 10.

Israeli forces launch new strikes in Lebanon, after Hezbollah forces fire at targets in Northern Israel. Trum erupts: “It is so bad – I couldn’t believe it. An hour before we are supposed to sign the deal.”

“Why did Bibi have to do a fucking attack? I was so pissed off. I let him know. He has no fucking judgement. I let him know that.” Trump in a call to Axios, June 14.

The Strait of Hormuz will be “permanently toll-free.” Trump promise, made in call to The New York Times, June 14.

“Our expectation is that the strait is going to be opened in a toll-free way for the long term, and that’s the sort of thing that we’re going to figure out in these technical negotiations.” Vice President J.D. Vance, interview on CNBC, June 15.

“Unless you were homeschooled by a day drinker, no one's confident that Iran is going to do anything.” Republican Sen. John Kennedy, June 16.

The United States and Iran sign a formal MOU (Memorandum of Understanding) and agree to a 60-day ceasefire. The Iran War comes to an end. We won! “USA! USA!” June 17, Arab Center Washington D.C.

Trump brags about his great deal with Iran, insisting, “nobody could have made this deal,” like he did, and claims that Obama tried to “bribe his way out” of trouble with the Iranians. “And you know what the Iranians did? They laughed at Obama and they said he’s a stupid son-of-a-bitch.” Trump, Oval Office meeting, June 17.

Iranian officials explain that when the ceasefire ends, they will charge a “service fee” for ships using the Strait of Hormuz. This might sound like a “toll,” but this fee will pay for “navigation support, environmental protection, insurance coordination, and maritime safety operations.” Channel 24 News, June 19.

With a ceasefire deal in the works, President Trump is asked about his pledge that Iran would have no choice but unconditional surrender. “Well, it really probably is unconditional surrender,” he claims. Trump statement, June 19, during Axios interview.

Iran announces the Strait is closed again, after Israeli forces continue to pound Hezbollah positions in Southern Lebanon. “Do not approach the Strait of Hormuz; otherwise, your security will be jeopardized.” Iranian Revolutionary Guard Corps Navy, statement, June 20.

You can form some idea of how the war is going by looking at a poll of Israelis: 92% of respondents believe Iran has come out of the war as the winner. Hebrew University of Jerusalem, June 21.

Trump decides to threaten Iranian negotiators, already scheduled to meet for discussions with U.S. officials in Switzerland. “You close [the Strait of Hormuz] and you won’t have a country. You won’t even make it back to your fucking country.” Trump statement, during a call to Fox News, June 21.

(Murdering another country’s emissaries is a war crime.)

President Trump expects praise for winning the Iran War and if he doesn’t get it, watch out. “The way the Corrupt and Failing New York Times is covering stories on a very battered and beat up Iran, through FAKE & MADE UP ‘FACTS’ is, in my opinion, ‘TREASONOUS’,” he says. Arab News story, June 22.

VP Vance proudly announces that Iran has agreed allow International Atomic Energy Agency (IAEA) inspectors back into the country. This, he says, is “a major milestone for the American people, and the first step in permanently denuclearizing or permanently ending a nuclear weapons program in Iran.” Vance statement, meeting in Switzerland, June 22.

“We have not had a meeting with the director general of the IAEA, nor do we have any plans for the agency to inspect Iran's nuclear facilities damaged by the US and Zionist military aggression.” Iranian foreign ministry spokesman, June 23.

“I think it’s over. I don’t want to deal with them anymore. They’re scum. Do you know what scum is? They’re led by sick people. They’re vicious, violent people. They’re liars. They’re cuckoo. Trump says he doesn’t want to negotiate any more with Iranian leaders, July 8.

“The Cease Fire is OVER.” Donald, venting, July 11.

“It was a done deal, and then they broke it. They always break it. We’ve had 10 deals with these people – and so we’re just going to hit them very hard... They’re a bad group of people. They’ve been this way for a long time.” Fox News, July 13, Trump phone call.

“The U.S.A. will be, from this point forward, known as ‘THE GUARDIAN OF THE HORMUZ STRAIT. But as such, and as a matter of FAIRNESS, will be reimbursed, at the rate of 20% on all cargo shipped, for any and all costs necessary to do the job of providing safety and security to this very volatile section of the World.” President Trump’s new plan for the Strait of Hormuz, July 13.

“Kings and emirs and all of the people that we all know, and we all love” call President Trump, regarding his plan to charge tolls. “We’d love to do it a different way,” they assure him, “we’d love to invest in the United States with billions and billions of dollars …” Trump, doing a 180 turn, July 14.

“We’re going to hit them very hard tonight. We’re going to hit them very hard tomorrow night. We’re going to hit them very hard the night after... We’re going to knock out all their power plants, we’re going to knock out all their bridges, unless they get to the table and negotiate.” Trump, speaking to Fox News, July 14.

WE ALL KNOW how much President Trump likes trophies. So, it seems fitting that protesters recently put up a 10-foot-tall “Iran War Participation Trophy” on the National Mall in D.C.

The accompanying plaque explains:

We hereby award President Donald J. Trump this participation trophy for his enthusiastic involvement in the Iran War. While some concern themselves with military strategy, diplomacy, or measurable outcomes, President Trump demonstrated the courage to participate regardless of the final score.

As the recipient of this prestigious award, President Trump joins the ranks of children everywhere who received recognition for simply showing up.