Watch Out for Terrorists at the Border Dressed as Moose

In today’s news, a new danger is revealed at the border—terrorists dressed as moose.

1/8/19: President Trump is schedule to give a short speech tonight about why we really need to build the Great Wall of Trump.

To help make that case, his surrogates have been out talking all week. Pinocchio Sanders, for one, appeared on Fox News, Sunday morning. You know she was expecting it was going to be perfectly safe to spew a few of her patented lies. But Chris Wallace was hosting and asked her about a claim by Homeland Security Secretary Kristjen Nielsen, that more than 3,000 terrorist suspects had been stopped trying to cross into this country from Mexico in the last year.

Pinocchio did what Pinocchio does.

Pinocchio was excited to try to bamboozle the fools who watch Fox News for news. “We know that roughly, nearly 4,000 known or suspected terrorists come into our country illegally,” she told Wallace (one of the few real journalists Fox employs), “and we know that our most vulnerable point of entry is at our southern border.” If Pinocchio was a parrot, squawking by rote, she’d have made just as much sense. She was repeating a statement she made unchallenged on Fox two days before, that there were, “nearly 4,000 known or suspected terrorists that CPB [Customs and Border Protection] picked up that came across our southern border.”

Wallace immediately put her in her place. “Do you know where those 4,000 people come [from], where they’re captured? Airports,” he said.

Pinocchio was clearly rattled by his response. But Pinocchio did what Pinocchio does. Sanders tried a different formulation of the same lie. “I’m saying that they come by air, by land and by sea,” she said. “I’m not disagreeing with you that they’re coming through airports.”

Well, then, what good will a wall do, viewers of even average intellect should have been asking themselves?

Wrong border, fool!

Meanwhile, various news agencies spent Monday trying to uncover the facts. Wallace was one of the first. CBS cited statistics from the Department of Justice and the Department of Homeland Security. A total of 2,554 people on the FBI’s terrorist screening list were stopped trying to enter the U.S. in fiscal year 2017. That’s the last year for which data is complete. A handful, 49, tried to enter by sea. A whopping 2,170 were stopped at airports. The other 335 were attempting to enter by land; but the State Department, CBS noted, “said in September it had no indication that any terrorists had tried entering the U.S. through Mexico.”

CBS further explained:

“At year’s end there was no credible evidence indicating that international terrorist groups have established bases in Mexico, worked with Mexican drug cartels, or sent operatives via Mexico into the United States,” the State Department report said. “Terrorist groups likely seek other means of trying to enter the United States.”

NBC had the audacity to delve even deeper into official reports. According to NBC, CPB found:

Overall, 41 people on the Terrorist Screening Database were encountered at the southern border from Oct. 1, 2017, to March 31, 2018, but 35 of them were U.S. citizens or lawful permanent residents. Six were classified as non-U.S. persons.

On the northern border, CBP stopped 91 people listed in the database, including 41 who were not already citizens or permanent residents.

Damn, Fox News fans, wake up!

Your boy Trump wants to build his big beautiful wall on the wrong border!!! We’ve got to be vigilant! Terrorists in moose costumes may be flooding across the northern border, while we look foolishly to the south.

God damn!!!!

White House aides say Trump will speak to the nation for about 7-8 minutes tonight. That gives him five minutes for bragging, two minutes for lying, and a minute to whine about “Fake News.”

To emphasize the danger, I really think he should dress up as a moose.