If Trump Declares a National Emergency Can We Get a Moat?

If Trump can declare a national emergency whenever he likes, you know he’s going to want to bomb The New York Times.

What else could go wrong? 

1/7/19: Trump’s first tweet of the day comes at 7:56 a.m. Even by Trump standards, this one is nuts:

Many have become crazed lunatics.

With all of the success that our Country is having, including the just released jobs numbers which are off the charts, the Fake News & totally dishonest Media concerning me and my presidency has never been worse. Many have become crazed lunatics who have given up on the TRUTH!...

Thirteen minutes expire. (Does this man have nothing better to do?) The President of the United States is still steaming.

At 8:09 a.m. he continues his thought:

...The Fake News will knowingly lie and demean in order make the tremendous success of the Trump Administration, and me, look as bad as possible. They use non-existent sources & write stories that are total fiction. Our Country is doing so well, yet this is a sad day in America! 

(This from the man who said recently imaginary former presidents told him they wish they had built the wall.)

His outrage has not abated when he tweets at 8:31 a.m. Once more, he attacks the free press: “....The Fake News Media in our Country is the real Opposition Party. It is truly the Enemy of the People! We must bring honesty back to journalism and reporting!”

Seven minutes later Trump fires off a fourth tweet. This time he’s insisting he has the right to declare a national emergency. In fact, he’s going to declare an emergency and have the U.S. Army build the wall.

I am thinking creatively here, and believe the U.S. Navy and Marines should be tasked with adding a moat.

This power grab will not, of course, scare Republicans, who used to believe that Obama was going to send imaginary troops pouring out of tunnels underneath shuttered WalMart stores.

So, let’s play this out the way the president would like to see it. First, he declares a national emergency and sends troops to build the wall. Then he sends more troops to take over operations at CNN and place Tucker Carlson in charge. Then he sends at least one airborne division to blockade the Washington Post. No coffee or donuts will be allowed through their lines.

Maybe the U.S. Air Force can get in on the fun and bomb the offices of The New York Times.

The list of “Enemies of the People” will be long.

Under his new emergency powers, Trump will order internal enemies (i.e.: critics) arrested. Relying on the 1942 model, involving internment of 110,000 Japanese-Americans, relocation camps will be set up in barren regions—like Kansas. This will mean more walls, creating more jobs for the U.S. steel industry. Congress will need to give him more billions. That way, Americans who love Trump and the Constitution will be protected from Americans who don’t love Trump and fear he’s subverting the Constitution.

The following groups and individuals will be interned, probably forever: Hillary, Mueller, Robert Mueller’s wife and children, Rep. Adam Schiff (Schitt), F.B.I. agents who criticized Trump in emails, former campaign aides who have “ratted” on Trump for breaking the law and “Fake News” reporters. Also packing the camps will be: Muslim-Americans, Hollywood elites, Haitian immigrants, General Mattis, Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez—for dancing—and anyone who has ever mocked Trump’s hair. 

Sen. Milksop Mitch McConnell will sign off on the internment plan and give Trump ten extra picks for the U.S. Supreme Court.

The highest court in the land will then vote, 15-4, in favor of granting Trump the power to:

A)   Pardon himself.

B)    Cancel any taxes he owes, not that he ever pays.

C)   Appear armed at press briefings and shoot reporters who pose questions he doesn’t like.

With all that done, the GOP, now completely the Party of Trump (POT), will declare that the U.S. Constitution has been saved.

POSTSCRIPT: The former prime minister of Canada, Kim Campbell, calls Trump a “mother**ker.”

Ms. Campbell has already labeled Trump a “sexual predator,” so I think we know what this means. Trump is going to want to build a wall along our border with Canada. And if Nancy Pelosi won’t give him the money?

He’ll have a tantrum for sure.