December 22, 2017: Do I Wish a Scientologist "Merry Christmas?"

 

12/22/17: As another Christmas approaches, Fox News fans – and we do include the Groper-in-Chief – are still fighting the bloody “War on Christmas.”

 

Once again, millions of “good Americans” (defined by Trump as “people who love Trump”) will be killed or divested of appendages by toppling, blinking-light-and-ornament-encumbered pine trees.

Is a greeting of "Merry Christmas" appropriate here?

 

 

Alien wise men visiting the earth via U.F.O.’s.

 

So, let me be the first liberal to say to Trump fans: “Merry Christmas! Merry, Mary, Jesus, Joseph, Lazarus (no Obamacare for you), and everybody else in the New Testament, Christmas!”

 

This greeting does not go out to any of my Jewish friends – Muslim friends – or friends who might be agnostic or atheist or Hindu or Scientologists, so that sometimes I just say, “Happy Holidays.” This is not because I want to see Christians crushed by toppling trees, but because I try to be polite. I don’t assume everyone believes what I believe or what my Christian friends believe. And it might seem insensitive to assume Tom Cruise believed in Jesus instead of the holiday story once told by L. Ron Hubbard about alien wise men visiting the earth via U.F.O.’s.

January 8, 2020: Iran Fires Missiles at U.S. Bases

 

1/8/20: Apparently, Iranian missiles fired at the U.S. base caused no casualties, and may have been intended to miss – but to serve as a warning, that Iran could strike back hard if it wished. Several buildings appear on satellite images to have been hit with precision-guided weapons. 

Meanwhile, Rep. Paul Gosar decides to add to the public’s “understanding” of the situation by tweeting a faked photo of former President Obama and Iranian President Hassan Rouhani shaking hands. 

When reporters criticize his trick, Gosar gets mad. He never said the picture wasn’t photoshopped! He didn’t say the two men actually met! The picture only shows them shaking hands! 

Who the f**k would think from looking at the picture Gosar posted that they had ever met????

  

 

Several questions quickly come to mind. First, how did a fool like Gosar get a degree in medicine? 

Second, who are the 22,300 dopes who “liked” this photo? 

Third, does Gosar grasp how clueless many of his and Trump’s fans really are? If they see this photo, they’re going to start shouting that Sharia law is sweeping the nation, and howling that Obama has been a Muslim all along. 

Let’s be honest. In 2016 we know two-thirds of Trump supporters believed Obama had a Quran hidden under the bed.

 

Ah! Silly me. For Trump supporters, I should point out the simplest facts. The Quran is the holy book of Islam. 

Damn it! I should also explain that Islam is the religion of Moslems. 

Or: Muslims. 

Nuts. Did I mention that freedom of religion is enshrined in our First Amendment? So, if Obama had been a Muslim, it wouldn’t be a problem. 

(Of course, he wasn’t.) 

Even Sean Hannity knew the truth; but by the time Trump decided to run for office, Hannity didn’t want those two-thirds of Trump fans to remember that he had previously blasted Mr. Obama in 2007 for his choice in pastors. That would be Rev. Dr. Jeremiah Wright, of the Trinity Unity Church of Christ, which is assuredly not the name of a mosque. 

It paid off in 2016, to scare the ill-informed into thinking Obama was a Muslim, and only Donald could save the nation. So Hannity, Trump, and most of the right-wing world went with that simplistic narrative. 

Now, with war a looming possibility, Gosar stirs the fools again. Democrats shake hands with our enemies!!!

 

* 

Trump hopes NATO will get involved. 

SO, THE NATION WAITS. President Trump is scheduled to speak to the American people at 11 a.m. The minutes tick by. 

Behind the scenes, Trump is making sure every hair is in place. 

Check. 

Orange cream applied all over the face. 

Check.

 

At 11:25 a.m. he finally strides to the podium. Despite his bone spurs, he manages not to limp. 

First, the good news. Although the Iranians fired twenty missiles at U.S. bases in Iraq just hours before, Trump explains, “We suffered no casualties, all of our soldiers are safe [emphasis added] and only minimal damage was sustained at our military bases.” 

Second, the U.S. would “immediately impose additional punishing economic sanctions” on Iran. Because Trump was going to get them to the negotiating table. Like in “one day,” or maybe less. 

As he used to say… (See: 1/3/20.) 

Third, Trump was hoping our NATO allies would help out more in the region. He would really like it if they would get “much more involved in the Middle East process.”

 

We know they’re going to jump at that deal. Because Trump has made a living insulting other NATO members, such as France, Germany and Canada, and because he refused, early in his presidency, to say he’d abide by Article V of the NATO agreement. That essential article says an attack on one member will be considered an attack on all. Trump even said the alliance was “obsolete.” 

Then he said it wasn’t. 

The French, the Germans, and the Brits all helped work out the Iran deal which President Obama brokered. When Trump came in and tore up that deal, they all said it was working. 

Trump “broke” the Middle East. Now, he wants our allies to help fix it. In his little talk today he called on those three allies, Russia and China, to help him get a new deal with Iran. After he tore up the last deal those nations helped negotiate.

 

Hey, maybe the Kurds will help! Oh, wait. Trump screwed the Kurds this past October. 

Finally, Trump assures listeners, “As long as I’m president, Iran will never be allowed to have nuclear weapons.” 

This is wonderful news, as every MAGA fan will tell you, because Iran has never had any nuclear weapons.