April 1-4, 2017: Trump Donates His Paycheck - Syrian Launches Poison Gas Attack

 

April 1, 2017: April Fools. Trump is still president. No, we mean it. America, the joke’s on you!

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4/2/17: Trump declares this World Autism Awareness Day. No way of knowing if he mocks people with disabilities in the privacy of the Oval Office. Would anyone be surprised if he did?

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4/3/17: The president donates his first paycheck ($78,333.32) to the National Parks Service. Conservatives are furious when environmental groups don’t praise him highly enough. 

This could have something to do with the fact the Trump administration plans to cut $1.5 billion from the budget of the Interior Department…which operates the National Parks. 

If Trump will give up his next 19,490 paychecks, we’ll be able to cover the entire cut to Interior.

Who needs national parks! Grand Teton N.P., Wyoming.

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4/4/17: The Assad regime in Syria apparently decides President Trump is not concerned with all the killing and launches a poison gas attack which wipes out dozens, including many children. (See: 3/30/17.)

June 28-30, 2017: Republican Healthcare Plan Proves Wildly Unpopular

 

6/28/17: The more Americans know about the GOP healthcare plan, stalled in the Senate, the more they loathe it. A poll shows the plan is less popular than the House-passed version, which was only slightly more popular than shingles. 

Americans, by a 4-1 margin, now trust Democrats in Congress more than Republicans when it comes to healthcare.

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6/29/17: The splenetic president wakes up in a sour mood and binges on cable news. Then he decides to tweet. 

He attacks MSNBC morning hosts, Mika Brzezinski and Joe Scarborough, who have been critical of his policies. The former, he refers to as “low I.Q Mika.” The latter he labels a “psycho.” Brzezinski, Trump complains, “was bleeding badly from a bad face-lift” when he last saw her at Mar-a-Lago. 

Even Republicans are stunned by the crass nature of such tweets. “I don’t remember anything quite like this,” says former Republican congressman Vin Weber. Sen. Ben Sasse cautions Trump, pointing out, it “isn’t normal and it’s beneath the dignity of your office [emphasis added].” “The President’s tweets today don’t help our political or national discourse and do not provide a positive role model for our national dialogue,” Sen. James Lankford adds. 

Speaker Ryan, for whom the Teddy Roosevelt-era insult, “he has no more backbone than a chocolate éclair” seems fitting, musters up a smidge of courage. “Obviously, I don’t see that as an appropriate comment,” he admits.

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6/30/17: Joe Scarborough fires back, saying the White House leaned on him to apologize to the tissue-thin-skinned Tweeter-in-Chief. Otherwise, the National Enquirer would run an attack piece on him and his co-host. 

In a press gathering Sarah Huckabee Sanders, clearly suffering from Stockholm syndrome, tells reporters appalled by Trump’s attacks, “You hurt his feelings. It makes him sad. He must crush you like worms beneath his feet.” 

(Okay: I made that quote up.)

 

Meanwhile, we should note the National Enquirer is run by longtime Trump friend and aptly named publisher David Pecker. This fine publication is famous for running the kind of hard-hitting journalism Trump loves, including a story claiming Ted Cruz’s father played a role in the killing of John F. Kennedy. There have been countless other Enquirer reports touting the greatness that is Donald J. Trump. 

Other headline-grabbing stories from the desk of Mr. Pecker include the saga of Hillary Clinton who had six short months to live (October 2015), O. J. Simpson who was doomed in four even shorter weeks (October 2014), and Angelina Jolie, anorexic and definitely dying (August 2015). 

If Ted Cruz’s father didn’t help kill JFK, well then, John F. Kennedy Jr. was murdered by the mob. (See: 12/13-15/18.)

 

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IN OTHER HEAD-SCRATCHING NEWS, the president suggests Congress repeal Obamacare and figure out what to replace it with later. Who needs healthcare! Orange Leader gives up! 

The Congressional Budget Office estimates this “plan” would cost 32 million Americans their insurance. Apparently, the GOP goal is to work toward no insurance for anyone. 

Their plans keep getting worse.

October 24, 2017: Trump Spends His Day Tweeting Insults

 

10/24/17: Some days, you just have to face the fact that the President of the United States is a giant dick. 

Who is pissing off the president today? It’s Senator Corker, ironically, one of the first establishment Republicans to back him during the campaign. Corker is now one of Trump’s harshest critics. 

At 7:13 a.m. Trump launches the first in a barrage of tweets: “Bob Corker, who helped President O give us the bad Iran Deal & couldn’t get elected dog catcher in Tennessee, is now fighting Tax Cuts....” 

Again, at 7:20 a.m. “...Corker dropped out of the race in Tennessee when I refused to endorse him, and now is only negative on anything Trump. Look at his record!”

Duh: The Supreme Court has already ruled on this issue.
A typical tweet: Ill-informed and scary. 

 

At 9:13 he’s tap-tapping furiously again: “Sen. Corker is the incompetent head of the Foreign Relations Committee, & look how poorly the U.S. has done. He doesn’t have a clue as.....” 

Seven minutes pass. What to tweet? Ah, it comes to Trump: “...the entire World WAS laughing and taking advantage of us. People like liddle’ Bob Corker have set the U.S. way back. Now we move forward!” 

This is your president at “work.”

February 5, 2018: President Trump Believes if You Don't Love Him, You Don't Love This Country

 

2/5/18: Trump loves to talk about all the stock market gains since he took over. But today the market bombs, dropping 1,175 points. This forces the president to fall back on his other favorite tweeting topic: Insults! 

One tweet allows him to call five people liars. What are all five lying about? The Russian investigation: 

Little Adam Schiff, who is desperate to run for higher office, is one of the biggest liars and leakers in Washington, right up there with Comey, Warner, Brennan and Clapper! Adam leaves closed committee hearings to illegally leak confidential information. Must be stopped!

 

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THE U.S. SUPREME COURT allows a ruling by the Pennsylvania Supreme Court to stand.

In that decision judges ruled a gerrymandered map drawn by Republicans “clearly, plainly and palpably” violated the state constitution. 

That map allowed the party to capture 13 of 18 U.S. House seats in 2012, even though Democrats polled 2.7 million votes to 2.5 million for Republicans.

 

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TRUMP TOPS off another busy day with a campaign-style rally in Cincinnati. In another rambling talk, he complains about the response of Democratic lawmakers during his recent State of the Union Address. He’s mad because when he said, “you have the lowest black unemployment in the history of our country,” all the Democrats didn’t rise and applaud like an audience at a Kim Jong-un speech. 

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“I mean they certainly didn’t seem to love our country very much.” 

President Trump

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Trump looked at the lawmakers’ faces. Dead silence from the Democratic side of the aisle. “Not a smile,” he said. “Half the room is going totally crazy,” he told his audience, but the other side was giving off nothing but “bad energy.” 

You’re up there, you’ve got half the room going totally crazy wild, they loved everything, they want to do something great for our country, and you have the other side even on positive news, really positive news like that, they were like death and un-American. Un-American.

 

Trump hears someone shout, hesitates and points out at the crowd. 

“Somebody said treasonous,” he says and shrugs. “I mean, yeah, I guess, why not. Can we call that treason? Why not? I mean they certainly didn’t seem to love our country very much.” 

Trump seems to believe that if you don’t love him, you don’t love your country. His fans seem to agree.

 

BLOGGER’S NOTE: Looking back, near the end of the Trump presidency, it’s clear. This was the template for his four years in office. His political opponents, critics, and voters who disapproved of his performance didn’t love the country. His political allies, media pals, and voters who approved did. They were great Americans.