August 1, 2025: The jobs report is out and when you count the number of zeroes on some of the numbers, you just know President Trump is going to have a fit. The Bureau of Labor Statistics reports that in July, only 73,000 jobs were added to the U.S. economy. That’s bad enough.
Worse, by far, the Bureau revises figures for May and June. Not up, but way down. The final total for may drops to 19,000. The preliminary figure for June also plummets, to 14,000, subject to adjustment at the end of August.
Donald is going to have to hope someone sticks an extra “0” at the end of these monthly figures, or his economic policies are going to start looking like crap.
He could try the old “Sharpie-to-the-tornado-path trick.”
We also know that the unemployment rate ticked up to 4.2%, still a good number, but a slight increase from the 4.0% rate, when “Sleepy Joe” exited the White House. Economists are starting to get a little nervous about tariffs kicking in and businesses struggling with challenges that result, not the least being, no one can ever be sure what zany tariff ideas President Trump will come up with next.
So, what would any president do, if the job numbers looked bad? Well, most would try to figure out what went wrong.
Not
Donald Dumpling. He announced, almost as soon as he saw the gloomy headlines,
that he was going to fire Erika McEntarfer, the head of
the Bureau of Labor Statistics. And by the time the Stock Market shut down
Friday afternoon, McEntarfer was looking for a new job, herself.
Irony alert.
It can be immensely enjoyable to go back and look at what Donald has said about jobs, and his own job-creating greatness – when the numbers were good. Or, in this case, to look up what the White House said just one month ago, when Ms. McEntarfer was apparently doing a good job, and the preliminary numbers for June came in at 147,000. In fact, the numbers were totally believable then – including revised figures for April and May, up 16,000. Boy that Donald!
The greatest!
As one
sycophant put it, “Under President Donald J. Trump’s leadership, the economy
had another stellar month[.]”
 |
Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt: Never a fact to disturb the MAGA fans. |
8/3/25: The president proudly announces on Sunday that he has performed a miracle. This is, of course, the same dumb oaf who likes to brag that he has done “more in six months”, or “a year,” or than any other president “in history” to make America great. But now. Not just greatest.
MIRACLES!
Prepare for a stampede on all the pharmacies in the land, as soon as stores open for business on Monday.
As Donald Dumpling told reporters today (we assume after he spent most of the morning in church, not golfing), “You know, we’ve cut drug prices by 1,200, 1,300, 1,400, 1,500%. I don’t mean 50%, I mean 14 — 1,500%.”
Yes, not some shitty half price cut.
A mathematically impossible cut.
It is difficult to imagine how a graduate of the Wharton School of Business can offer up such numbers and not realize how stupid he sounds. (Then again this is Trump.) Let us explain for any math-challenged individuals out there – perhaps wearing lovely red MAGA caps. Suppose you are a smoker. You smoke two packs of cigarettes per day. If you cut back to one pack: that is a 50% cut. If you stop smoking completely, that is a 100% cut. Last year, rounding off, 80,000 Americans dried from drug overdoses. If Donald and his Team of Toadies cut the deaths by 10,000, that would be admirable, and a 12.5% cut. A reduction of 20,000 would be a 25% cut, and if not a single American died in 2025, then President Trump could brag that he had reduced drug overdose deaths by 100%.
But you could not reduce deaths by 1500% unless, I suppose, you were Jesus. You could go back in time fifteen years, in that case, and with the help of your Father, you could bring back the deceased.
So, there you go.
*
But the numbskull math doesn’t stop with Donald. With the hundred day mark approaching, related to Trump’s time in office for his second term, Attorney General Pam Bondi attorney general trotted out her own impossible statistics. First, she told Brian Kilmeade of Fox News, that Trump had seized 21 million fentanyl pills in a little more than three months. “That’s 21 million lives saved in my opinion,” she said.
Kilmeade had to play dumb, because he works for Fox.
Two days passed, and Bondi boasted again: 22.2 million pills seized, and now she said Trump had saved 119 million lives. “Pretty remarkable,” she told Sean Hannity, flashing a vacuous grin.
But the miracles only grew more amazing. In a cabinet meeting to mark a hundred days in office, Bondi cited the 22 million pills figure, only rounding off, then turned directly to look into the cameras and say, “Which saved … are you ready for this, media … 258 million lives.”
Honestly, you would have thought that Vice President JD Vance, sitting beside her would have whispered in her ear, and told her not to embarrass herself further.
Or you might have imagined that a reasonably well-informed president would have replied, well, Ms. Bondi, I appreciate your enthusiasm, but right now you sound like someone has filled your skull with banana pudding.”
Not when your cabinet is crammed with toadies.
Michael Kosta of The Daily Show has a comical take on Bondi’s math – which you can see at this link.
Josh Johnson, from the same show, has an even more amazing takedown of Donald Dumplings’ math-impossible drug-pricing claims.
___
8/5/25: It’s beginning to look like, before Trump leaves office, that he will sign Executive Orders making himself “Stud Muffin of the Millennium,” and award himself, Nobel Peace Prizes (multiple), Emmys (multiple), an Oscar (for his cameo in Home Alone 2: Lost in New York), a Tony, Grammys (for every one of his speeches), Eagle Scout status, and have Abraham Lincoln chiseled off Mt. Rushmore to make room for his ugly mug.
On Tuesday, Donald decided to make himself chair of a White House task force on the 2028 Summer Olympic Games in Los Angeles.”
According to the White House, Donald Dumpling “is taking every opportunity to showcase American greatness on the world stage.”
By which they mean, The Dumpling’s “greatness.”
“At the White House, speaking in front of banners adding the presidential seal to the logo for LA28, Trump said he would send the military back to Los Angeles if he so chose in order to protect the Games,” the Los Angeles Times reported.
And/or
warned.
*
Remember how we were once told that all the immigrants were rapists, or killers, or wanted to eat Fido and Fluffy the cat?
Suddenly, Dimwit Don has realized that even immigrants given dangerous tools, such as pitchforks and rakes and shears might not be the threat he convinced his supporters they were.
Speaking
about how his administration's crackdown on undocumented immigration is
affecting the American agricultural sector, Trump said that “in some cases,
we're sending [migrants] back to their country with a pass back in legally.”
“We
can't let our farmers not have anybody,” Trump added of undocumented farm
laborers, primarily of Hispanic origin, who are being targeted for deportation
by his Department of Homeland Security. “These [are] people that you can’t
replace them very easily – you know, people that live in the inner city are not
doing that work. They’re just not doing that work. And they’ve tried – we’ve
tried, everybody tried. They don’t do it. These people do it naturally,
naturally.”
So, a few observations:
First, people in the “inner city” don’t do farm work because, um, they don’t live near any farms.
Second, the Hispanics don’t do these jobs “naturally,” but they will do them for poor wages, because they come from poor countries, and Americans won’t work for lousy wages, if they can avoid it.
Finally,
I think this sounds like Donald is suddenly for “Open Borders!” Goddam. Here
come the rapists!
___
8/6/25: Day 274 of the promised Day 1-ending of the Ukraine War; but never fear, American people. Donald Dumpling is on the job. If you haven’t been paying attention, he has saved us from corn syrup in our Coca-Cola.
The company is going to start using cane sugar, which will be way healthier, and none of us will ever be fat or unhealthy again.
We will look like the Orange Adonis in the Oval Office, the very picture of rugged manhood, assuming all manhood ever did for exercise was ride around in a golf cart, and cheat when he dismounted and whacked the ball.
Good
work, Mr. President.
8/7/25: We learned today that “Tiger” Trump, parttime President of the United States, mostly golfing fool, has won a sixth championship this year, a stunning run of greatness, at one of the golf courses he owns.
What a giant hunk of manhood!
According to the Palm Beach Herald, the man this blogger prefers to label “Donald Dumpling” in honor of his lumpy physique, ran away with the trophy, winning the Men's Senior Club Championship at Trump National Golf Club Bedminster. Not only did he win, he shot a 69, and, adjusted for handicap, carded a 67.
On X, the official White House account actually wasted time to post a picture of the winning results:
What an
f-ing joke.
___
8/8/25: At the rate we’re going, you, dear reader, may soon be tapped to be the next Commissioner of the Internal Revenue Service.
As of today, Billy Long, a Missouri Republican congressman, who had no real qualifications for the job is out. Good old Billy lasted 53 days and now he’s gone. Previously, Donald Dumpling ran through five IRS heads, although to be fair, one was a Biden appointee, and he resigned on Inauguration Day, after The Dumpling made it clear he was going to fire him. Even Gary Shapley, who endeared himself to the president when he started talking about Hunter Biden’s taxes, and maybe hinting at an investigation, didn’t last. He was an Elon Musk ally, and when Elon got the boot, so did Shapley.
At any rate, if you are interested in the job, send in your resume; and be sure to emphasize your ass-smooching talents.
Really. That’s the only qualification.
___
8/9/25: With President Dumpling bragging about all his golf championship wins, it’s time to check out the Golfing-o-Meter. We know Trump went golfing today, at his Virginia club. We know he went golfing on a course he owns in Scotland and then used his trip as a publicity stunt. We also know his caddies have been caught twice helping him cheat, dropping balls in select places to provide him favorable lies.
In fact, the diligent blogger decides to check the president’s official schedule, so far. In the first eleven days of his second term, in late January, he spends parts of (5) days at properties that he owns.
February: (12) days at Mar-a-Lago and other properties, (7) trips to play golf.
March: (13) days at Mar-a-Lago and other properties, (10) trips to play golf.
April: (12) days at properties he owns, mostly Mar-a-Lago, (8) trips to golf, possibly (3) more
May: (13) days at Bedminster and Mar-a-Lago, (8) rounds of golf, maybe (3) more
June: (8) days at his private clubs, inc. in Virginia, (3) trips to golf, (5) additional possible
July: (12) days at his properties, inc. golf course in Scotland, (6) rounds of golf, possibly (5) more
That
comes to (75) days spent, in part, or all, at properties he owns, (40) rounds
of golf, and (16) possibly more.
THE BLOGGER IS STILL CATCHING UP FROM VACATION. HE WILL CONTINUE
TO ADD TO THE AUGUST REPORT IN COMING DAYS.
___
A free press in action.
8/27/25: Duke Cunningham, former U.S. congressman, and one of only two confirmed U.S. Navy “aces” from the Vietnam War, made his last flight today, and off he went (hopefully) to Heaven.
And thank you for your service!
Alas, Duke was a “former” congressman because he was eventually convicted for taking $2.4 million in bribes from contractors who wanted him to help them win government business. As The New York Times noted in his obituary,
The San
Diego Union-Tribune exposed the corruption beginning
in June 2005, revealing that a defense contractor bought Mr. Cunningham’s house
for $1.675 million, then sold it at a $700,000 loss. Shortly after, the
contractor began winning millions of dollars in defense and
intelligence-related deals from the government. The newspaper’s coverage won
the 2006 Pulitzer Prize for national reporting, which it shared with its sister
organization, the Copley News Service.
Proof,
again, that a free press is a necessary check on those in power, whether in
business or government, or in this case, both.
___
8/28/25: Steve Cook started this year as a lawyer representing chemical companies in court, and fighting rules that required them to pay to clean up environmental damage related to “forever chemicals” know to cause cancer and low birth rates in human beings.
Today, Mr. Cook works for Donald Trump’s EPA and recently met with the same industrial groups he used to represent in court.
And, presto. The EPA now has changed its recommendation that companies pay for cleanups. Now, guess who will?
(Go look in a mirror.)
___
8/29/25: Well, you can’t say ICE isn’t keeping us safe by arresting illegal immigrants out doing crimes like rape and murder and harvesting strawberries and apples, and now, fighting forest fires. Yes, indeed, ICE agents today caught two illegals red-handed before they could use their shovels to throw dirt on flames.
Thank god, we are now safe. Unless our house is in the path of the Bear Gulch Fire. A quick check on September 2, shows the fire has burned almost 10,000 acres, or sixteen square miles in Washington State, and was – at that time – only 10% contained. So, if you’re camping in the area, be ready to grab your gear and book it.
FUN FACT: More than half of all hired crop farm workers in this country are foreign-born, including 42% who are in this country illegally.
___
8/30/25: We have fresh proof today that we can never raise taxes on billionaires, because if we do, college football stars will not make bag, and the Michigan Wolverines will have to rely on schlubs to throw the pigskin to receivers.
Fortunately, in this best of all worlds, Larry Ellison and his wife Jolin were able to help out Bryce Underwood, an 18-year-old quarterback, for the team. To lure him away from a commitment to play for Louisiana State, Mr. and Mrs. Ellison gifted Underwood a $12 million NIL (name, image, likeness) deal.
Which is way more fun than – say – paying higher taxes to ensure that low-income children have free breakfasts at school.
Their investment in Underwood paid off in his first start against New Mexico today, when he completed 21 of 31 passes, for 251 yards and one touchdown.
Michigan rolled to a 34-17 win.
Larry is
also a big fan of President Trump, who happens
to be a big fan of cutting taxes on people like Larry, not to mention Donald,
himself. Ellison is currently said to be the second richest person in the
world, with $270.9 billion to his name.
FUN
FACT: Larry just tied the knot in January with Jolin, his fifth wife, and possibly his last,
since Larry is 80, and Jolin is 33. But nothing says Republican family values,
quite like having Ellison and Elon Musk bankroll the guy for president who has
been accused by dozens of women of sexual assault.
___
8/31/25: According to Kristi Noem, a.k.a. “ICE Barbie,” the city of Los Angeles would have burned to the ground if Donald Dumpling hadn’t acted forcefully to send soldiers and marines to help ICE arrests all the illegal immigrants – such as dangerous mothers dropping their citizen children off at school.
Or arresting high school kids, a day after graduation.
Appearing on “Face the Nation” this morning, she insisted, “L.A. wouldn’t be standing today if President Trump hadn’t taken action then [in July]. That city would have burned down if left to the devices of the mayor and the governor of that state.”
She continued:
“So, the citizens who live there, the small business owners in downtown L.A., they’re thankful that President Trump came in with federal law enforcement officers and helped support keeping those streets open, keep their homes and businesses from burning down, and made sure the law and order was restored.”
Actually, a big portion of the
city did burn down in January, as climate
change continued to dry out the State of California and make it increasingly susceptible
to wildfires. Donald’s plan to address the issue?
He’s going to keep insisting
that climate change is “a hoax.”
___
No comments:
Post a Comment