April 25, 2021: The Commies Are Coming for Your Steak Sauce

 

4/25/21: Lest we forget, Rejected-President Trump could be a dick on any topic you might choose, including nursery rhymes and recipes for pie. 

In the early months of his presidency, he blamed President Obama for an increase in drug overdose deaths. He claimed his predecessor “ignored” the crisis. “So they looked at this scourge and they let it go by,” Don bragged, “and we’re not letting it go by.” As a garnish on his dickishness, Trump delivered his attack from the comfort of Trump National Golf Course. 

Do we all remember his attacks on Golfing Obama?

 

So, what happened with Trump at the helm? According to CDC, the U.S. set a record in 2020. The nation suffered 87,000 drug overdose deaths, with Trump steering the ship of state – and also trying to run it into the rocks on January 6. It would be stupid, really, to blame all those deaths on Trump. Just remember, he did blame all those previous overdose deaths on his predecessor. 

Because he’s a dick.

 

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AMERICANS might be dying left and right from drug overdoses, and COVID-19, but you cannot put anything past the Republicans. They are in full freak out mode. Joe Biden is coming for the hamburgers. 

Any attempt to address climate change (which Republicans insist isn’t real, but scientists insist is) will mean that red-blooded American will never be able to visit Wendy’s again.

That means the nuts are out in force. Rep. Lauren Boebert warns her Twitter followers that if Biden has his way, we’ll all be limited to four pounds of beef per year (an imaginary threat so stupid only really stupid people could believe it).

 

You had to figure the Space Laser Lady would check in, and Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene did. “Why doesn’t Joe stay out of my kitchen?” she fumed, almost as if the president were watching as she boiled a pot of spaghetti. 

With extra meatballs, probably, for her. 

Idaho’s Republican governor came up with what he no doubt thought was a clever line, saying, “Idahoans also have a beef with this agenda and for dinner.” 

And Gov. Greg Abbott assured the people of his state, “Not gonna’ happen in Texas.” 

Fox News viewers got a steady diet (bad pun) of scary stories, and Sean Hannity claimed liberals had a plan to confiscate the A-1 Sauce. 

(Okay, I made that last one up.) 

 

All we need now is a cool, right-wing kind of bumper sticker, reminiscent of those bumper stickers regarding guns. Something like: YOU CAN PRY MY COLD DEAD HANDS OFF MY CHEESEBURGER AFTER I BLOW YOUR COMMIE HEAD OFF WITH MY AR-15.

October 13, 2021: Drug Overdoses Set Record and Salt Can Kill You

10/13/21: The Center for Disease Control and Prevention reports that there were 93,331 drug overdose deaths in the U.S. in 2020. 

That mark surpassed the toll for 2019 by more than 20,000, setting an all-time high for this country. Roughly 60% of all overdose deaths were opioid-related. It would not make sense to blame President Trump for this frightful toll, but then again, we know he blamed Obama when overdose deaths rose in 2016. We also know that in 2019, he took credit for “a tremendous amount of progress” in the fight against opioid abuse and for a decline in deaths that he claimed resulted. 

Now the numbers are in and any progress the Trump administration made proves to have been illusory.

 

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PRESIDENT BIDEN has been taking a few lumps of late, but in small ways and large, his administration has shown how different it is from the circle-jerk administration run by Donald J. Trump. 

For example, the Food and Drug Administration is recommending that manufacturers cut the amount of salt they add to processed and packaged foods. Even baby foods and meals in chain restaurants may be affected. 

Whereas President Trump yipped and yapped about how government regulations made his toilet too hard to flush – and ignored the larger issues, such as a burgeoning drought in the American West. He claimed climate change was a hoax  and fought for our First Amendment right to use plastic straws and throw them in the ocean. Today, the FDA is under new management.

 

Dr. Janet Woodcock, the acting commissioner, told NBC News, that the goal was to reduce rates of heart disease. Cutting sodium intake, “would have a major impact on hypertension, heart disease and stroke,” she explained. 

Current guidelines recommend 2,300 milligrams of salt per day for adults. That would equal about one teaspoon of table salt. The average American adult consumes almost 50% more than that, every day. 

Right-wing types will no doubt start shouting about how the “nanny state” wants to pry the saltshakers out of our freedom-loving hands. 

You know, kind of like when they said liberals wanted to take away their coal, and their Christmas ornaments, and their hamburgers and guns. All of which, by some miracle, they still enjoy.