I’m not going to lie. Making fun of Donald J.
Trump is a labor of love, not to mention surprisingly easy.
So I update my blog regularly, having made fun of the fool in the Oval Office for 432 days without a miss.
*
Developments for March 26/27: In just the last
few days, we have heard a former Playboy Playmate accuse him of conducting a ten-month-long
affair in the early days of his marriage to Melania, his third wife.
Then Stormy Daniels showed up on television
to talk about spanking Donald with a copy of Forbes magazine and having a
consensual one-night stand with the, at-the-time, less-than-attractive
62-year-old man.
Speaking of “less-than-attractive” old men,
Monday, the latest issue of The New
Yorker arrived in my mail. If you haven’t picked up on the hullabaloo regarding
the cover, you may not have heard conservatives are furious over the
“body-shaming” of the Big Orange Buffoon, as I like to call the President of
the United States.
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| This made Fox News and Trump fans mad. |
We will address the irony of defending the Buffoon
from insult in a moment. First, we should note that Fox, in a story highlighting
negative “reader reaction” to The New
Yorker cover, seemed to cite “reader” reaction mostly from people who in
all likelihood never read the actual magazine. “Shame on you for doing this to
anybody, not just the president,” said one “reader.” That seemed legitimate. A
second “reader” proclaimed, oddly enough, “Your readers are snobs.” Apparently,
he or she was tired of being a snob him- or herself. But bonus points, I guess,
for being self-aware! Yet another “reader” insisted the magazine was “turning
into the Mad Magazine” of “urban elitists.” A fourth went off the deep end,
citing the cover as sad evidence of “liberal deep state minds at work, only
hurting the future of our country, it [sic] citizens and their own families!
What goes around comes around.”
Finally, a conservative commentator quoted
for the Fox News story claimed the cover was another sign of “intolerance and
mean spirited behavior” on the part of the liberal media.
If you were a liberal you had to burst out
with a laugh.
Suddenly, we were supposed to feel ashamed because
we had attacked a leader who has no shame? This is the very same man who
insults others on a daily, almost hourly, basis. We were supposed to feel sorry
for Donald J. Trump, who said a woman who accused him of sexual assault wasn’t
pretty enough to warrant his attacks—not that he attacked anyone, of course. We
were supposed to forget he said he couldn’t imagine voting for Carly Fiorina,
because, “look at that face.” We should feel bad about body-shaming the man who
labeled a Miss Universe winner who
gained “a massive amount of weight,” at least in his eyes, as a “Miss Piggy.”
Get real.
If the right wing cared about “body-shaming”
and “intolerant” people, it might be nice if the folks at Fox started poking
around in their own giant manure pile. The man in the Oval Office spent years
denying the citizenship of Barack Obama. Talking heads at Fox helped convince a majority of Trump supporters
that Obama was a Muslim—when he isn’t—and when the U.S. Constitution makes it clear
it wouldn’t matter if he was. Trump and Fox both stoked irrational fear of all Muslims in people’s empty heads. The
Buffoon launched his campaign by trying to paint all Mexican immigrants as “murders”
and “rapists.” More recently, he told aides all Haitian immigrants had AIDS.
Even the dimwits who pass for pundits at Fox
News should be able to remember at least a little of what happened when President
Obama was in office. No one at the network expressed any concern when Ted
Nugent said Mr. Obama should suck on his
machine gun (or took umbrage when Trump invited Nugent to the White House soon
after taking office). Fox hosts like Bill O’Reilly claimed racism was no longer
an issue in America. They never balked when a conservative called Mrs. Obama “an ape in heels” or another
said he hoped she’d go back to Africa where
she belonged and “live in a cave” with gorillas. The right wasn’t worried when
Richard Spencer, head of the American Nazi Party, celebrated Trump’s electoral victory. Nor
is the right concerned now when Alex Jones says he’d enjoy killing a few liberals.
Nope. Not a bit.
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This didn't bother anyone at Fox News a bit. |
But a “nasty” magazine cover, my god! That’s
just going too far!
If the right is truly worried about
intolerance, I would suggest Trump fans go to the Trump Twitter Archive and see
how often the Big Orange Buffoon insults others. According to the Insulter-in-Chief,
his enemies are “crazy” (Bernie Sanders, Jim Acosta, Maureen Dowd, Joe Biden,
etc.), “little” (Marco Rubio) “short and fat” (Kim Jong-un; okay, I kind of
agree with that), “liddle” (Bob Corker), “low I.Q.” (Mika Brzezinski, Maxine
Waters) and “psycho” (President Obama, Joe Scarborough).
How about today? Any interesting news in Trumpistan of late?
Let’s see. The stock market is bouncing back—which
is good. John Bolton is still nuts. Which is bad. The head of Veterans’
Affairs, Trump’s hand-picked boy, is probably about to get canned.
Just an ordinary day in Trumpistan.
Oh, and we now know the lawyer for Stephanie
Clifford (a.k.a. “Stormy Daniels”) has filed a defamation lawsuit against Michael
D. Cohen, the personal lawyer of Donald J. Trump (a.k.a. “David Dennison”).
Speaking of lawsuits, etc., we also learn
that Trump is having trouble finding topflight lawyers to join his team and
defend him in the Russian investigation. Not that there was any collusion at
all!!!!! Trump, however, is telling all his loyal fans he can hire any lawyer
he wants, including Perry Mason, Matlock and Saul Goodman, from “Better Call Saul.”
Top White House aides would like to inform
the Buffoon these are all fictional lawyers but no one has the heart to break
the news.
Meanwhile, Ted Olson, a powerhouse
Washington, D.C. lawyer, who has worked for all kinds of Republican causes and
clients, declined recently to help poor Donald out. In fact, he told reporters that—to
be frank—leaders in the legal field don’t actually relish working with Donald
J. Trump.
David Corn, a reporter for Mother Jones, ran into Olson a few days
ago and tried to pin him
down. Why would he be reluctant to join the Trump legal team, Corn asked? Olson
didn’t care to explain. Olson dodged a few other queries and then let down his
guard slightly, joking about Joe diGenova, who joined Trump’s legal team and
then “un-joined” in just two days.
Finally, Corn tried a different tack:
So [he asked] is
Trump going to have trouble finding attorneys? Olson shrugged again. “Let me
ask this a different way,” I said. “In the last few days has any lawyer come up
to you and said, ‘I’m willing to work for Trump?'”
Without
hesitation, Olson said, “No.” Not at all? “Not at all.”
Washington, I
noted, is full of Republican lawyers who generally do not mind being in the
middle of headline-generating scandals and earning a bit of notice. Olson
laughed: “That’s right.” And not one of them had contacted him to say he or she
was willing to sign up? “No,” he repeated.
Trump seems to
believe he’s a hot ticket for DC’s top legal talent. The word on the street is
different.
In other words, it’s time to ask. Could it be
top legal professionals are hesitant to join with Donald J. Trump to pay off
porn stars, as Cohen now admits he did—and pay them off out of their own
pockets as Cohen currently claims? I mean: $130,000 out of your own pocket?
That’s going to leave a dent in any bank account.
Or could this be? Is it possible leading
legal lights suspect what most Americans suspect: that the Big Orange Buffoon
is up to his ample belly, if not more, in an array of crimes and an illegal cover
up--or two—or three?
Maybe more?
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| Michael Avenatti just sued Trump's personal lawyer for defaming his client, Stormy Daniels. |
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