Trump, a Big Blob of Fat, and the For-Profit College Pirates

SCANNING THE NEWSPAPER these past few days, several stories caught my attention. The hurricane damage is overwhelming, the losses heart-wrenching. 

North Korea just fired another missile over Japan, proving they can probably deliver a nuclear strike on Guam if war breaks out.

In fact, the big stories were so depressing, I decided to turn to the back pages and seek psychic relief. I subscribe to “the failing New York Times,” as President Trump calls it. So maybe this is “fake news.” But did you know a big blob comprised of congealed grease, baby wipes, diapers, condoms and tampons is blocking a main London sewer line. How big is this blob, christened “Fatberg?” It’s as large as 11 London double-decker buses—weighs 140 tons—and clogs 300 yards of tunnel.

It smells like rotting meat and backed up toilets and workers say it’s “rock solid.” Think being a woman and working at Fox News would be tough, what with all the sexual harassment? Or being press secretary for Trump? This job is really tough: An eight-man team will break up the blob over the next three weeks.

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SINCE THIS IS A BLOG about life in the time of Donald J. Trump, and we are talking about big blobs of fat, let’s give the President a snippet of credit. 

He actually got something right for a change!

The White House is blocking sale of Lattice Semiconductor to a Chinese-backed investing firm, on security grounds. It might be a no-brainer. Still, good job, Mr. Trump! You don’t want the Chinese gaining access to more secrets about American computer chip making. But Derek M. Scissors—is that a cool name, or what—of the American Enterprise Institute says we should give it up for Trump!

“We could have let it [the deal] die quietly,” Scissors told a Times reporter, “but we’re going to kill it loudly.”

In other words, this may be a signal to the Chinese. Trump is going to get tough. Also: if it has slipped your mind, he’s going to build a big wall!

Anyway, remember how Republicans always say government is the problem, and you can always trust business folks to do what is right, like they are all Eagle Scouts, and if we had no regulations at all this would be the best of all possible worlds?

Here we might pose a philosophical question for fans of unfettered capitalism. Why are so many giant corporations so infernally willing to move production to China (GE; Apple; Ford Motors), or import billions in Chinese goods (Walmart; Lowes, Ivanka’s shoes), and work hand in wallet with a corrupt Communist government?

This is a government that: A) denies citizens basic rights; B) allows leaders to amass personal fortunes in the billions; C) builds fake islands in the South China Sea, claims new territorial waters round said fake islands and dares neighbors to do anything about it; D) continues to build up its naval forces in case of war with…yes…the United States; F) won’t kick Kim Jong-nut in the butt.

Thanks China for all your help.

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DID YOU REALIZE, IN GERMANY, politicians now hate to admit they’ve ever been friends with the big automakers? The Times reports that Angela Merkel once put in a call to California state officials to complain about tough emission standards which hurt German automakers who preferred diesel-engine trucks and SUV’s.

Now Merkel sounds like she’s always loved to drive a horse and buggy. “I’m just as angry about the fraud as you,” she told one interviewer.

If you don’t know what fraud she meant, it would be this fraud: Volkswagen engineers and executives plotted to design computer systems so the company’s diesel engines would defeat all emissions tests with ease. In 2015 the U.S. began to investigate and eventually slapped VW with a $2.8 billion fine.

So what’s the big deal, current-head-of-the-EPA-and-big-fan-of-the-oil-and-gas-industry Scott Pruitt might ask? 

A little smog never hurt anyone. 

Actually, according to the Asthma and Allergy Foundation of America, the big deal is really big. Children with severe asthma are  “40 percent more likely to have acute asthma episodes on high pollution summer days than on days with average pollution levels.” Adult asthma sufferers are more likely to visit emergency rooms on days when air pollution is elevated.

Okay, sure. Scientists warn that elevated air pollution levels cause 2.2 million unnecessary deaths annually in China and India, and undoubtedly many more in nations where people have the audacity to breath. But we can take comfort—except when listening to all the children hack and wheeze—knowing the Trump Administration is clearing the path for more coal mining and oil drilling and working hard to protect us from all those illegal immigrants who want to rape and kill us.

In fact, let’s just cue up Scott Pruitt talking about how government regulations are the work of Bezelbub.

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SINCE WE’RE ON THE TOPIC of questionable business dealings, let’s see what Martin Shkreli is up to. 

Not familiar with Shkreli? 

He’s the former drug company exec who first made a name by buying up the rights to old drugs, working a little business prestidigitation, and then, for example, increasing prices on Daraprim, a lifesaving drug for people with AIDS, a mere 5,000%.

Shkreli, 34, was convicted on fraud charges but had been out on $5 million bail. Now he’s back in jail. 

What happened? Shkreli offered $5,000 for anyone who could accost Hillary Clinton during her book tour and “grab a hair.”

A judge failed to see the humor, said the offer might be seen as invitation to commit assault, probably had in mind Shkreli’s assets might be subject in future civil cases and he shouldn’t be wasting money, and revoked bail.

Shkreli’s lawyer was reduced to arguing that his client should not be jailed, saying: “Stupid doesn’t make you violent.”

Alas: stupid does get you sent to jail. Then again there’s hope. 

Trump may well pardon him.

***

I LOOKED AT THE SPORTS PAGE for a bit of lighter fare. Even that doesn’t work. There's a story about the corrupting influence of big money and doping in baseball, football and track and field. And it turns out Jemele Hill, the African-American host of a popular show on ESPN is in hot water after using her Twitter account to criticize Trump. That seems ironic, I think even conservatives would agree.

In one tweet she wrote: “Trump is the most ignorant, offensive president of my lifetime. His rise is a direct result of white supremacy. Period.”

Here we might add: Ms. Hill  clearly should have dropped the “period” and ended with the more powerful: “Sad!” You really need the exclamation mark if you want people to take you seriously, like President Trump.

Naturally, Sarah Huckabee Sanders came to the defense of her boss. Showing how much she and the hyper-sensitive toddler in the Oval Office cherish the First Amendment, irony-challenged Press Secretary Sanders let reporters know what the President thought. “I think that’s one of the more outrageous comments that anyone can make,” she moaned, “and certainly something that I think is a fireable offense by ESPN.”

Praise him, Colin Cowherd, praise Trump!

That’s your new job.

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LAST BUT NOT LEAST, there’s a story in the Times about another crooked for-profit college, Charlotte School of Law, which is now, sadly, terminally, defunct. I’ve written about this topic before on my education blog, but it seems the pirates at for-profit schools keep boarding the metaphorical merchant ships of knowledge and slaughtering entire crews.

For example: you had the famous case of the for-profit college that sent recruiters out to scour alleys and look under bridges and sign up homeless men and women for classes. Why? To help them better their lives? Ha, ha, don’t be naïve. They signed up these unfortunate individuals because they qualified for veteran’s benefits which would allow them to pay for expensive classes at the school.

It was greed.

The latest proof that you are guaranteed all possible variations of skullduggery when money is in play involves the aforesaid Charlotte School of Law.

Once owned by Sterling Partners, Charlotte at first enjoyed high times. Enrollment blossomed. Cash rolled in. Cash rolled out again, in the way of high returns for investors and fat salaries for executives. Profits piled up, mainly because almost all CSL students qualified for federally-backed loans. To be exact: the school soaked the federal government for $337.1 million in funds between 2010 and 2016.

Since Sterling is a privately traded company, it’s not possible to find exact salaries for company leaders. So, let’s cheat a bit and assume Charlotte operated like Corinthian College (defunct). Five top executives at that for-profit institution—which just so happens to be the same school that recruited the homeless—carted off $12.5 million in salaries and perks in one three-year span. We can also assume Corinthian investors profited handsomely from stock ownership in the school, with shares once selling for $61.04 each.

Alas, Corinthian shuttered operations in 2015 in the face of a massive federal investigation, leaving thousands of students stuck with high-interest loans, almost worthless diplomas, or no diplomas at all.

Investors who came to the party late got murdered. The stock price for Corinthian at the end: 1¢ per share.

In any case, it turns out Charlotte School of Law was operating pretty much like Corinthian. The whole Charlotte shebang collapsed after the U.S. Department of Education revoked the school’s eligibility to enroll students in federal loan programs. And why would the government turn off the cash tap?

Investigators began to uncover harsh truths about the “quality” of education being provided to students at CSL. When graduates of Wake Forest University School of Law took the North Carolina bar exam in July of this year they passed at a rate of 86.3%. Duke grads passed at a rate of 84.2%. Dragging up the rear, when results from all law schools were released, was Charlotte School of Law.

In July 2017 only 34.1% of graduates passed the bar.

And it could have been worse!

Threatened by a cut-off of federal funding, the bold business leaders who ran the school took desperate measures. First, they added a new class, involving extra preparation for the bar exam, and required all graduates to…um…un-graduate. You had to sign up for another semester, take the class, add to your loans, and pass it before you could take the bar.

In fact, the school went even further to try to improve passing rates and insure all that federal cash kept flowing its way. According to a whistle-blower, CSL began offering graduates $5,000 not to take the bar.

AND LET ME SAY, FINALLY, I think the moral for today is clear. Government regulation is always a curse and capitalism always works like a charm.

No, we meant the other big blob of fat!

THIS POST WAS COMPLETED BEFORE NEWS OF ANOTHER ATTACK ON LONDON. OUR SYMPATHY GOES OUT TO THE PEOPLE OF GREAT BRITAIN; AND WE WILL ADDRESS THAT MATTER SOON.